Alone

In The Whirlwind

*For Noah. This is the only logical explanation I have to offer.*

Sometimes when no one is around,
I think about you.
The emotions and dreams make me drown
And I think about when I loved you too.
Back when your memory didn't make me frown.

The happy days
When you were mine.
Moments replay,
Songs we sang, places we went to dine.
There are words that I wish I could say.

There are also words I wish were unspoken.
The I love you's and how we're meant to be.
Now we are both empty and heartbroken.
I wish I could let you in and let you see
Just a small token.

A small piece of me that is still whole,
That isn't destroyed.
I feel empty and dull.
I wish our love could still be employed.
But we each have a different role.

I wish I hadn't said that I loved you, especially over the phone.
I wish we hadn't made plans.
I wish I hadn't been your helpless little drone.
I regret the do's and want's and can's.
And now we're all alone.

I wish I didn't always feel like a mess.
And you didn't always send the same old text repeatedly.
I would try to wear my best dress
But I always felt drained completely.
But now at least I cry less.

I wish I hadn't wasted time together.
I'm happier now that you're gone.
We were never meant for forever.
It just now began to dawn
That we were meant for never.

I just want you to know,
That forever wouldn't have lasted.
Maybe in this mistake, we can grow.
All hopes of another future hasn't been blasted.
So don't be upset or feel low.

Understand this bit of information,
Our separation may be permanent.
Our hearts don't have an everlasting deformation.
We said a lot of words that we never meant,
And I'm sorry. It caused us both plenty of frustration.

On that chilly November night,
There was a whirlwind of excitement.
I had no trepidations or fright
I pondered each word and took in your scent.
I never thought that I'd ever be able to end it. It wasn't in my might.

-Goodbye.