State Of Grace || °HSMTMTS°

Chapter 3

Ricky

I haven't had the slightest idea what the fuck was going on. First time that EJ offered me to spend a night at his place was weird, sure. But at least I understood why he did that. He happened to pass me by and decided he shouldn't be a complete asshole. I get that.

But he came to the skate house yesterday, which, by the way, is on a solid distance from his apartment. It didn't click for me, why was he being so nice to me all of a sudden. I felt as if he pitied me. That only made me feel worse.

To sum everything up. My life lost the last thing I believed in. That EJ hated my guts.

Come to think of it, it was sad that, for the past few days, the only thing in my life I knew I could rely on was that EJ hated me. Now I'm not so sure about that either.

Although, there's always a possibility that he was playing to gain my trust just so he could ruin my life later on.
Honestly, I didn't even care.

And I hate to admit it, but his presence became so comfortable to me on such short notice.

Don't get me wrong, I still don't like him, but it just feels nice not talking to him but still having him there. It feels nice having somebody who doesn't force you to talk about your emotions but just letting you feel them in silence while also keeping you company.

The sheer absurdity of this whole situation occupied my thought for that entire day.
I was on the edge of my nerves. Having him be this nice to me for no apparent reason felt like having the last bit of solid ground snatched from under my feet.

Seriously. EJ and I even had our second breakfast in a row without killing each other. That was something I never believed to be possible outside of the realms of fiction. Hell, I never imagined the two of us would be in a situation to have a breakfast like this - alone together - and murder-less.

EJ drove us to school again, and he dropped me off one block away again. Cause I still didn't want people seeing us together. Cause we still weren't friends. We were still very much enemies in my eyes. The only difference now was that I was now willing to recognize that he maybe had some good sides. Maybe.

Even in school, I couldn't stop overthinking EJs behavior. I tried to. I tried to focus on Nini instead. The two of us still had so much to fix between us, and I really wanted to mend our relationship. But today, thanks to the obscurity of my situation, thinking of Nini didn't help take my mind off of EJ. In fact, it had the opposite effect.

I would look at her, start thinking about the way the things ended between us, and the way we've been lately. Then EJ came up in my mind again, cause she was with him, and although they've broken up I had no idea if she was still feeling something for him.

And then I'd think about how EJ is a threat to my relationship reparation operation. And then I think about how he was nice to me these two days. And then I think about what he said to me when he gave me his number.

And then my mind goes like:
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
cause that's the only appropriate reaction to all of this that it can come up with.

Within that mess, I came to one important conclusion. EJ got one thing right. I shouldn't be wandering around the city all by myself all night.

Note that that was the only thing EJ was right about.

Now that I had time to think of it with a somewhat clearer mind, I didn't know what I expected? Did I expect me running away to magically fix this?

Maybe, on some level, I hoped that my parents would be so worried about my well being that they would give up on the divorce. I'm pretty sure I saw that happen in a movie once or twice.