State Of Grace || °HSMTMTS°

Chapter 1

Ricky

I didn't need this. Seriously. My parents are getting divorced, I already don't know how to feel or what to do. So the last thing that I needed was my ex-girlfriend being nice to me, telling me that I can always talk to her if something's bothering me. But we both know she ignored me every time that I did try to talk to her these past few months. No, I really didn't need this hot-and-cold thing with her. But we both seem to be stuck on it.

I rolled down the empty streets on my skateboard. Coming up in my mind was another thing that I didn't need. Guilt.

I knew this was all my fault. I don't know, however, why do I always need to constantly remind myself of that.

It was my fault for telling Nini that we needed a break in our relationship. It was my fault that I couldn't tell her that I love her.

And it was my fault that I went to her house. Even though I couldn't stand to see my own parents right now, let alone be in the same house with them. Going to Nini's was my idea. And it was a bad one.

The only thing that wasn't my fault was that Nini got another boyfriend on such short notice. Though, I was sure that, if I kept overthinking this, I'd find a way to blame that one on myself too. To be fair, I'm not sure what I was expecting after telling her that we needed to go on a break? Was I expecting her to just wait it out? That kind of wasn't really fair of me. I was overthinking it again. Another thing that I didn't need right now.

I felt the chilly winds of early November night scratch at my face. For a while, I just kept cruising the streets of South Lake City on my skateboard, desperately trying to clear my mind. It didn't seem to work.

Every now and then I glanced at my phone. Time seemed to move so slowly. 23:12, 23:14, 23:15. Every time I checked a clock I hoped to see the message. Or a missed call. Or an incoming one. I wasn't sure who I was expecting to reach out. Dad, or mom. Nini. I just hoped someone would try.

After a while, I realized that I was unconsciously going in circles. I must've passed by Nini's house close to a hundred times. Every time I did, I hoped she'd run out of her house and tell me to get inside. And every time, my hopes were shattered.

Only half-an-hour has passed since I sneaked out of Nini's house. It felt like days. Days filled with hope, and fear, and mind-descending-into-oblivion kind of feeling. Truth was, I had no idea what to do. I had nowhere else to go. I just planned on driving around until the dawn, then sleep through math class... and history class... chemistry too. Maybe ditching rehearsals...One thing was sure, going home was not an option.

As midnight inched closer, the night was getting closer, and the first sign of the rain started showing up. Great. Not to mention, I was only getting hungrier as time passed. Still riding my skateboard, I tried telling myself that it's not all that bad. I've always loved the way the air smelled after the rain. Even that fading sliver of hope didn't make me feel better.

I heard the car drive up the street behind me. This was the first one that I saw the whole night. It wasn't that weird, this was an extremely peaceful neighborhood, by which I mean it was inhabited by mainly old people who couldn't drive. Or stay awake past 9 PM, on that matter.

The car slowed down as it passed me by, coming to a full stop a few feet in front of me. All my instincts were screaming at me to run, but I was tired and angry, so I decided to hope it wasn't a murderer. The driver's door opened. EJ stepped out, visibly confused. Thanks, I would've rather faced-off with a serial killer right now!

But seriously, out of all the things that I didn't need tonight, EJ was at the top of my list.

"Hey buddy", I said with a venomous grin plastered on my face, "I'm so glad to see you".