'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Ahab (he was so much surprised, that for the moment he quite forgot how to speak proper English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, foot!' (for when he looked down at his one good foot, it seemed to be almost out of sight, it was getting so far off). 'Oh, my poor little foot, I wonder who will put on your shoe and stockings for you now? I'm sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can;--but I must be kind to it,' said Ahab, 'or perhaps it won't walk the way I want to go! Let me see: I'll buy a new boot every Christmas.'
And he went on planning to himself how he would manage it, all the while acting as if we weren't in attendance, which really wasn't that much of a surprise, as the entire crew had at times noticed Ahab muttering to himself in conversation. 'It must go by the post,' he continued; 'and how funny it'll seem, sending presents to one's own foot! And how odd the directions will look!
AHAB'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.
HEARTHRUG,
NEAR THE FENDER,
(WITH AHAB'S LOVE).
Oh, what nonsense I'm talking!'
Just then his head struck against the roof of the hall: in fact he was now more than nine feet high, and he at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.
Poor Ahab! It was as much as he could do, lying down on one side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get through was more hopeless than ever: he sat down and began to wail again.
'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Ahab, 'a great man like you,' (he might well say this), 'to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But he went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round him, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall and causing us all to get wet.
After a time we heard a little pattering of feet in the distance, and Ahab hastily dried his eyes to see what was coming. It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' In a moment of desperation that I verily believe haunted him for the rest of his life, Ahab was willing to turn to anyone for help, even the one who had believed he detested more than death itself. When the Rabbit came near, he began, in a gruff, intimidating voice, 'If you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.
Ahab looked down at the fan and gloves with a desperate pity. He realized that he had had close at hand the object of his desired vengeance, yet he was unable to act, as his sudden growth spurt left him cramped into the parlor of the house, barely able to move, let alone hunt a rabbit. The extreme profundity of his disappointment seemed to affect his mental stability. And, as the hall was very hot, he kept fanning himself all the time he went on talking: 'Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in the world am I? Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!' And he began thinking over all the men he knew that were of the same age as himself, to see if he could have been changed into any of them.
'I'm sure I'm not Bildad,' he said, 'for his hair goes in such long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm sure I can't be Peleg, for I know all sorts of things, and he, oh! he knows such a very little! Besides, HE'S he, and I'm I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However, the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography. London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for Peleg! I'll try and say 'How doth the little--'' and he crossed his hands on his lap as if he were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but his voice sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--
YOU ARE READING
Ahab's Adventure's In Wonderland; or The Rabbit
FantasyCaptain Ahab, legendary farmer, loses his leg after an encounter with Moby Dick, the infamous white rabbit who has been terrorizing farms all across Massachusetts. Hellbent on revenge, he vows to hunt the rabbit wherever it may lead. With his crew i...