Ahab's Adventure's In Wonderland; or The Rabbit

Chapter Fifty-One

We had not traveled far when Franklin noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' Ahab said. 'But everything's curious today. I think we may as well go in at once.' And in we went.

Once more we found ourselves in the long hall, and close to the little glass table. Ahab did not seem in anyway alarmed at the fact that we had apparently traveled in a large circle to come back to where we began. Instead he announced, 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' and began by taking the little golden key, and unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then we went to work nibbling at the mushroom (he had kept a piece of it in his pocket) till we were all about a foot high: then we walked down the little passage: and THEN--we found ourselves at last in the beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting them red. Ahab thought this a very curious thing, and he went nearer to watch them, and just as he came up to them he heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me like that!'

'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven jogged my elbow.'

On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!'

'YOU'D better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

'That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

'Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Ahab, as he stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

'Would you tell me,' said Ahab, rather gruffly, 'why you are painting those roses?'

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Sir, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Sir, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Ahab looked round, eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Ahab recognized the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing him. Ahab was about ready to lunge after them, but Starbuck and Franklin wisely held him back, for we did not think it wise for him to be attacking anyone in the presence of such a large contingent of armed guards. You can imagine how angry this made him.

Next followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

Has he looked around, Starbuck noticed gardeners cowering on the ground before the Queen as she passed by. He suggested to Ahab, 'Don't you think we ought to lie down on our faces like them.'

Ahab was rather doubtful. 'Have you ever heard of such a rule at processions? What would be the use of a procession, if people had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?' So he stood still where he was, and waited. Starbuck stood nervously next to Ahab, while I tried to hide myself from view by standing behind them. Franklin was already on the ground next to the gardeners, but I thought I heard him ask what it was that they had dropped, as if he wished to help them in its being found.

When the procession came opposite to Ahab, they all stopped and looked at him, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and, turning to Ahab, she went on, 'What's your name, old man?'

'My name is Ahab, so please your Majesty,' said Ahab very politely; but he added, to us, 'Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. We needn't be afraid of them!'

'And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round the rose tree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.

'How should I know?' said Ahab, surprised at his own courage. 'It's no business of MINE.'

The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with his head! Off--'

'Nonsense!' said Ahab, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.

The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said 'Consider, my dear: he is only an old man!'

The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave 'Turn them over!'

The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What HAVE you been doing here?'

'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--'

'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Ahab for protection.

'You shan't be beheaded!' said Ahab, and he put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

'That's right!' shouted the Queen.