~First update November 3d 2019~
For a long time I've been trapped inside hospitals and locked away from the world.
For a long time I've lived imprisoned by my own body and the cancerous cells inside it.
My time is coming to an end. I know it. It is...
Harley tried to keep his promise and bring me home before I fell asleep but he failed miserably.
After eating some junk food, we bought from a drive through in the car and talking while driving around town, I fell asleep and he had to carry my passed out ass all the way to my room.
I have no memory of the carrying bit, all I remember is opening my eyes for a moment and seeing him walk out of my room.
Needless to say the teasing hasn't stopped ever since I walked in the kitchen to pour myself some cereal. Both my parents and Jullian have been making jokes and been overall acting like I should have expected them to.
Jullian even went as far as to ask me to carry the cereal over to him.
I threw the box in his face.
In return he grabbed my middle, throwing me to the floor and straddling me while I tried to push him off.
''Children''! my mother tried but we paid her no attention.
Now, under my brother on the kitchen floor, I manage to pinch my brother and pull his nipple as hard as I can, causing him to yell and grab my throat with a hand while the other tickles my midriff.
''Jullian''! I gasp for breath and cough but he shows no mercy. I strategically gather as much saliva and blood as I can in my mouth and spit in his face. With a disgusted sound, he gets off me and runs to the sink to wash his face while I struggle to my feet. ''You look like someone throttled you''. my father notes with a smug smile as I sit back in my chair.
''Today is your checkup''. Mom reminds me with a frown and wipes some blood from my lips. I can't resist the urge to tick her off and I lick her hand and she squeals, hitting my head lightly. ''What is up with you two today''? she asks with a displeased expression as she washes her hand by Jullian in the sink.
''It's because of her boyfriend. Love is warming up her cold heart''! Jullian says dramatically and falls to his knees in the middle of the room. Our parents exchange worried looks. I throw the cereal box at him again.
A notification from Jullian's phone is all that stops him from attacking me again. My phone makes the same noise. I blink confused and open the message.
Jullian's phone falls to the floor from his hand and he runs out of the room.
''Julles''? my mother says worried but I stop her from going after him. She looks down at me to find tears making their way down my cheeks.
''Selena passed away this morning''. I manage to choke out. My mother's hands go to her mouth in an attempt to suppress a gasp. I carefully stand and follow after my brother. I need to find him before he does anything stupid.
I don't even notice the burning in my lungs on my way to his room. The door is shut and from inside I can hear the sound of things being thrown to the floor.
Hesitantly I push the door open and find my baby brother over his desk, his hair falling over his face, his fingers lingering over something on the desk. Everything else that once was on top of the desk is now at the floor.
''Jullie''. I whisper and make my way to him, careful not to step on anything that shouldn't be stepped on. I snake my arms around him and hug his waist tightly, with my head on his back. ''She is gone Ophelia''. I barely hear him. His voice is hoarse and quiet.
''I know baby''. I say as I tighten my grip on him, trying to keep him with me, to keep him from going to that place where people go when they grieve. Where few return unchanged from.
''Jullie, please''. I sob and try to pull him back. ''Please''. I don't know what I'm begging for. Only that I want him here now.
He sluggishly turns around and hugs me too. I take a shaky breath, feeling relief course through me as I feel his heartbeat against my cheek. ''She is gone and I didn't get to tell her I loved her Ophelia''. he cries and I feel my heart bleed for him. ''Oh baby''. I run my hand up and down his back as he cries on my shoulder.
I hold him for hours. On the floor and then after I manage to convince him, on the bed, where he falls asleep, exhausted from the tears that keep falling from his eyes even as he sleeps. The pain in my chest is only growing, but for once, it isn't because of the cancerous cells in my body. It's because I can feel pieces of my heart breaking and falling apart. One for Selena and the second for my baby brother. My Jullian.
And maybe... maybe a third one is breaking for myself.
My mother comes in to check on us once but leaves quickly, her eyes are as red as mine.
And I decide that it's time I thought about other people. I won't let myself ruin them just because I was selfish and didn't want to try chemotherapy again. If Selena's departure broke their heart I don't want to imagine what it will feel like when I am gone.
No, I can't let myself break my family when I am given another shot at trying to live.
It's time I let go of foolish thoughts about dying heroically without trying my best and I tried to get better for the ones I love.
Careful not to wake Jullian, I reach and take my phone from the corner of the mattress. I hurriedly find my oncologist's phone number and text him about my decision.
*********************************
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I won't lie, I teared up while writing this chapter. Selena is one of my favorite characters I've ever created, her death is sad but plays a very big role in the story as well as in Ophelia's life.
Can we talk about my baby, Jullian for a bit? I allow you to hate me for breaking his heart. He was the main reason why it was so hard for me to write this chapter :'(
