"Mom," I called as my voice cracked.
She opened her eyes and gave me a tight smile as I ran over to her. Ash and I had just gotten back to my apartment after the flight and my mom was already waiting in the living room. Brad has texted telling me he was on the way and would be here as fast as he could. Ash came in behind us with the bags making herself busy as I collapsed into my mother's arms.
"Oh my little baby. How are you doing," my mother cooed.
"Mom he's back. I didn't know what to do and I'm just so scared," I sobbed.
"It's okay darling. You're here now he can't hurt you," she said.
She rubbed my back up and down as my front door opened. I turned my head and saw Brad's floppy curls walk through the door. He placed his keys down and ran over to us.
"Hey Thena, how are you," He asked pulling me into a bone crushing hug.
"I've been better," I said wiping my eyes.
"That asshole! What was he even doing in California," Brad seethed.
"I don't know," I said.
I think I needed Brad the most because he was the only one who knew what it was like. He knew how it felt to fall into Nick's trap. How he made you feel special one minute then like you were nothing the next. Nick tore me apart and Brad was one of the only people to help sew me up. Now it felt like the stitches were tearing just from one encounter. I hated that he still had that power over me it made me feel weak and naive. It made me feel like this was something that I could get past.
Ash came in juggling several cups in her arms and Brad sprung up to help her. He grabbed some of the cups and we all sat on my living room floor in silence as we drank the tea Ash had made. Ash sat down beside me keeping her distance but letting me know she was there. I could tell that she was frustrated by the fact that I needed my mom and Brad. She was quiet most of the way here and she hadn't said a word since we stepped into my house.
"Ash can talk to you for a second," I said pushing myself off the floor.
"Sure," she answered.
I pulled her up off the floor and led her back to my bedroom. I closed the door behind us and immediately attached my lips to hers.
"I thought you wanted to talk," she mumbled against my mouth.
"I do but I just needed a kiss," I said.
She nodded and fell back on my bed with a sigh. She laid there for a minute then sat up propping her body on her elbows.
"What do you want to talk about," she questioned.
"I wanted to know if you're okay," I said.
"I'm fine," she said picking at a thread on my comforter.
"It's obvious you're not. Talk to me," I said softly.
"I just- I feel like I'm not enough for you," she admitted.
"What," I asked in disbelief.
"I can't comfort you and I'm never around I feel like you deserve someone better. I'm so selfish to bring this up right now," she said running a hand over her face.
"Are you serious? Hey look at me baby," I said crouching down in front of her.
"My love, you are everything and more. Not enough? You're more than enough," I said softly.
"I just don't feel that way sometimes," she whispered.
"Then I'm going to keep reminding you until you feel that way all the time. That's what you deserve," I said.
"How did I get so lucky," she asked cupping my cheeks.
"Serendipity," I stated simply.
"What's that," she asked.
"A happy accident," I said leaning into her hand and covering it with my own.
"That's the perfect word for it," she said.
"We should get back if you're okay now," I said getting up.
"Wait just one second," she said.
She lightly grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto her lap. I was straddling her hips with one leg on either side of her waist as she kept her hands on my lower back to keep me steady. I leaned in but she pulled back with a mischievous glint in her eyes. I tried again but she did the same thing so I gently grabbed her chin and pulled her lips to mine. She hummed into the kiss and the vibrations sent a chill through my spine causing me to shiver. She pulled back and pressed a quick kiss to my nose causing it to scrunch up and her to giggle a bit.
"Now we can go back," she said moving me off her lap.
"I love you baby. Don't forget that, okay?," I said before I opened the door.
"I won't sunflower I love you too," she said.
We walked back into my living room to find my mom and Brad quietly talking. They immediately stopped when we walked back in the room and I furrowed my eyebrows at them.
"We were just talking about Ash's album," she said.
"What about it," I asked.
"You know, the trailer?," she asked.
"No mom I don't know. Ash whats she talking about," I asked.
"I released the trailer for my album," she said.
"What?! I didn't even know you finished! Why didn't you tell me," I asked.
"I'm sorry it just wasn't really on my mind," she said.
"I've got to see it now," I said jumping for my phone.
"I wanna watch it too," my mom said.
"Badlands," she answered when I asked the title.
I typed the title on YouTube and the cover immediately popped up. It still stunned me that it was under the name Ashley but I pushed it aside and clicked the trailer. The screen glitches as it began and her voice filled my apartment.
"Hello and I'm sorry. A salutation and a farewell. I don't have much time...," it started.
All the visuals tinted in blue and purple flashed across the screen as she spoke her poetic words. Sometimes they would glitch in and out but I mostly focused on how disturbing it was. From what I can gather the badlands aren't a place you want to visit but a place you get stuck in. Images of disgusting men and horrid bugs appear in the video but some images are light as well. I catch the snippets of her music in the background and smile to myself.
"If this were a movie I would ride off in some blood red sunset down a stretch of desert road into the wasteland that keeps us captive here. But this isn't a movie...these are the badlands," it finished.
As it finished I looked over at Ash and she was biting her nails nervously. Her gaze landed on us and she raised her eyebrows waiting for feedback. A bright smile instantly took over my features and I jumped up and hugged her.
"I'm furious with you for not showing me sooner but it's amazing. It's like a movie. For future reference I want to know everything going on with the album," I said raising and eyebrow at her.
"Okay," she nodded.
"It really is amazing Ash," Brad commented.
"Definitely. My favorite part is the speech it's so poetic and well thought out," my mom added.
"Thank you. That really means a lot. I didn't want it to be too dark but I think that's where I was so it has to be," she said.
"It's all happening," I said.
"It is. I'm having a meeting next week to work out some details but it's going to be released next month," she said.
"Wow. What date," my mom asked.
"August 28," she said.
"Baby I'm so proud. I'm going to buy every single copy," I joked.
"I'll just get you one," she laughed.
"Nope I'm buying every single copy in the store by our house," I said.
"The merch is getting released next week too. Are you gonna buy all that too," she joked.
"If it helps you be successful," I said.
"Um I want in on that merch thing," Brad joked.
"You're all welcome to some," Ash giggled.
"Thank you Ash. I have to go now cause Conor is making me dinner but I'll be back tomorrow to check up on you," my mom said kissing the top of my head.
"Bye mom. Tell Conor I said hi," I said.
"I will. Bye I love you guys," she said walking out the door.
"I have to go too. Kira wants to talk," he said rolling his eyes.
"Girlfriends right?," Ash joked.
"Hey!," I said lightly hitting Ash's arm.
"I'm just kidding," she said kissing my cheek.
"Bye guys," Brad called out laughing a bit.
As soon as I heard the door shut I climbed onto Ash's lap so that I was facing her. I buried my head in her chest and she ran her hand up and down my back.
"What's wrong," Ash asked.
"Just stuck in my head," I told her honestly.
"How can I get you out of there," she asked.
"Just be here," I told her.
"I'm not going anywhere sunflower," she told me.
