I'm Not Hopeless Just Helpless

Chapter #20

Harry's Point of View

Fuck not being able to talk is killing me and I can tell its starting to piss off Louis as well, simply because he has always stated that he finds my voice is the only thing apart from his mum that can calm him down when he's stress and thanks to Management he is beyond stressed. God! I really, really wish I wasn't such a burden. Just as I was reaching for Louis, Paul walks into my hospital suite and waves at everybody.

"Hello boys." A chorus of "Hey Pauly followed." I simply waved.

"Hey Hazza. You holding on okay?" I nodded and smiled encouragingly at him, "So, I bring some excellent news. The complete and utter dickhead that spiked our lovely Harry's drink has been identified and arrested. The charges against him are 'Attempted Kidnapping' in the first degree and 'Reckless Endangerment of a Minor' in the third degree plus as an added bonus 'Intention to do Bodily Harm' in the first degree. In simple terms he is going to jail." everyone cheered while I was confused. Louis noticing my confusion locked eyes with me and swept his hand through my hair.

"What's wrong love?" I just shook my head then seeming to understand he pulled out his phone and handed it to me "Remind me pick up your phone from our flat before..." he trailed off realising that Paul isn't one of those people who knows about our 'Matlock' cottage thankfully Paul was too busy catching up with the other boys to notice Louis' slip up. I typed out my question.

"How come this creep is getting 'Reckless Endangerment of a Minor'. I'm not a minor." Louis shrugged his shoulders and then repeated my question to Paul who answered.

"It's because you're under 21 'H'" I typed out my next question.

"Why such a low charge though?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that question..." Paul sighed wiping his hand down his face "The arresting officer saw it as and I'm quoting here. 'Mr. Styles should not been in the vicinity originally. This is what happens when popstars think they can do whatever they like." I'm sorry 'H' but the way the copper saw it. You brought it upon yourself." I stared blankly at Paul, just to process all the emotions pumping through me when one stood out from all rest... anger. I didn't want to go in the first place. I expressed that to Louis before we left, and they... THOUGHT I BROUGHT THIS UPON MYSELF! FUCKING MANAGEMENT MADE ME GO! THE BOUNCER EVEN SAID HE WANTED ME GONE! AND YET IT'S MY FAULT THAT I GOT DRUGGED AT THE FUCKING CLUB! IT'S MY FAULT THAT I WANT TO BE FUCKING KIDNAPPED AND POSSIBLY... no, no I won't go there. I won't. I didn't realise that I had wound myself up so tight that my hands were shaking and my breathes were coming out in wheezes until Louis grabbed my hand and kissed me so deep that I had no choice but to respond to it.

"I know exactly what you're thinking baby. I do but now is not the time to get worked up. You're still on the mend. We all know that this is management's fault and the ones that should be getting the 'Reckless Endangerment' charge. We all know you would never volunteer to put yourself into a situation like this. You would have heeded bouncer's advice and caught the next taxi home. The copper's don't know you moonshine. We all know you didn't ask for any of this." Louis says while pressing our foreheads together. "You've just got to keep breathing for me Haz cause the moment you stop my world collapses." I don't think I've ever heard Louis so torn up. At this point we may as well been sharing the same air. I flick my eyes to the boys, and they all mouthed "Its okay." I grabbed Louis by the collar and pulled him into my bed he grunted as he feel to catch himself then the next thing I know is he is on his back and my head is on his chest. I look up at him and connect our lips again. "You're never allowed to stop breathing on me again spouse. I've never, ever felt so helpless. Every other time I knew exactly what to do but the moment you stopped breathing... Shit Haz I've never felt so scared." He pulled me in closer as gently as he could mange and held me tight with his chin sitting on top of my head his left hand in my right. Rope and anchor meeting in the middle. Louis' right-hand carding through my ringlets then he starts quietly singing 'Through the Dark' and I can't help but fall for his voice all over again, he sang it so slow that it takes on an almost sad atmosphere. I try to look up at him to gage his facial expression, but the pain meds they have me on has kicked in, making me feel drowsy. I try to fight it. I need to make Louis understand that I don't blame him for this. So, with a last bout of energy I somehow find my voice and say, "I have loved you since I was sixteen." Louis stops singing. I don't know if it was in surprise or whatever, but he replies with.

"I can mend your broken parts." I blink and then everything goes dark. The medication and sleep finally winning though a single thought goes through my mind, why quote 'Over Again'?