When You Said You Love Me

Chapter Seventeen

A feeling in my chest.
A thrumming in my veins.
I try to gain control,
But it is you behind the reigns.

My heart matches hoofbeats.
A narrow cliff looms near.
There's sulfur in my bloodstream.
Your voice is silver in my ear.

When I wake up, I'm warm. Not hot, like I have been, but a nice, comfortable feelin'. It takes me a minute to remember I'm not in my own bed; that these blankets and pillows, these walls, aren't mine. Seto isn't here. He's probably gone downstairs to get breakfast, and didn't bother to wake me up.
I sit up and sigh softly, although the sound is embarrassingly breathy. I blush, then rub my face furiously as if I can scrub the red away. Things have been different these last couple days. I've been different.
I spend almost all day with Seto, and I can tell it bothers him. He doesn't talk to me; hardly looks at me. Even though we use the same bed, he never seems to sleep. He's always gone when I wake up. I understand that I shouldn't be upset, and normally I wouldn't be. But I've had to take a lot more medicine recently to keep from having a complete emotional breakdown.
Is this a toxic relationship? Am I being too clingy? Maybe I'm over reacting.
I just wanna lay back down and sleep some more. But that would make me even more of a burden, huh?
I get up against my own will, going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth and all that. I look in the mirror, frownin' at myself and squintin' at the bags under my eyes. Maybe I should take a shower?
My stomach growls, and I groan, shaking my head and makin' my way out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. It's not exactly far, but I feel like I just climbed Everest. Or Kilimanjaro at least. A tall mountain. My point is, I feel like I climbed a tall mountain.
"Hey."
I jump, falling back against the wall and putting a hand over my suddenly racin' heart. Mokuba is sittin' at the table, finishing off whatever he had for breakfast. I straighten and laugh awkwardly, rubbing the back of my head. "Gee, kid. Almost gave me a heart attack."
I can tell Mokuba is still getting used to the idea of me bein' here; of bein' with his brother.
I wanna leave to go find Seto, but I'm starvin', and I feel like Mokuba might get mad if I just up and hoof it. So I grab somethin' to eat and sit across from him, even though it's awkward.
"So-" I start, and Mokuba cuts me off almost immediately.
"Listen, I dont know what angle you're playing at, but if you're using my brother for some sort of... of..." His face scrunches up as he tries to think of the right word. "Scheme or something, then, um... you'll regret it!"
I raise an eyebrow, propping my head up on a hand. I can't help but smile and chuckle at his little protective act. "Don't worry kid. I'm bad at geometry, so I don't know nothin' bout angles."
He just stares at me, completely shocked. For a minute, I'm worried that he didn't get the joke and is actually thinkin' I'm plotting somethin'. Then, he busts out laughing, a hand smacking against the table. I laugh along too. We're so caught up that neither of us notice Seto walk in until he speaks.
"Did I miss something?" He's got on a nice suit, and as he speaks he's pourin' coffee into a mug that says 'Blue-Eyed Pheonix: Ace Attorney At Claw'. I had no clue he was into games other than Duel Monsters, but I shouldn't be surprised. You can't be such a successful prick in the game industry without liking a few.
The sight of him makes me go still, and I stop laughing. Mokuba takes a bit longer to quiet down, but when he does he looks at his brother with such adoration. It makes me miss Serenity.
"You on the way to work?" Mokuba asks, not botherin' to answer Seto's question. Seto only nods, drinking all of the coffee he just poured before getting more.
"Yer lookin' fancier than usual." I say, trying to look him up and down without bein' obvious. He's dressed to the nines, and his hair is even neater than usual. If I look close, I can see that he's wearin' concealer under his eyes to hide the bags. I wanna comment that he used a bit too dark of a shade, if not to help out then to just call him out on it, but somethin' stops me.
He frowns and shakes his head slightly, draining another cup again. When he sets the mug down, I can see just how stressed he is. "You can't go to work with me today. You have to wait here."
"Wh...what?" I ask, awestruck. It's hardly been two days, and that prick is already back to business?! I grit my teeth, but instead of yelling and arguing, I look down at my breakfast as if I can burn it to a crisp with my eyes. Not only is that jerk going to work without me, he is specifically going against doctor recommendations. He's actin' like he doesnt even care, when just a few days ago he was all sappy and mushy and shit. Can't he just make up his damn mind?! "Yeah, whatever. I'll be here waitin' for ya, doin' the cookin' an' cleanin' like I'm supposed to, right?"
Seto flinches, or at least I think he does, at my tone, then sighs again. "Joey, that's not what I meant. I have a meeting today, and I'd rather you not be there."
"Yeah?" I'm suddenly so mad that for a second I can't see straight. I stand and cross my arms, walking towards the bedroom. "Don't let me get in your way, then."
"Joey, that's not-"
I dont hear what he says after that. I crawl back in bed and pull his pillow against my chest, sighing softly. What's changed? Why am I suddenly so mad all the time?