The Songs of The Gullible Wiseman: The Early Poems of Maddy Kobar 2008-2013

The Outcast

I was there from day one,

All I wanted was some fun,

To belong

Just like everyone else,

And still be able to be me.

I like being able to work

With all of you,

But you don't share the same feelings.

I don't get your jokes,

I don't wear your clothes,

You say you're weird,

But that weird is different than mine,

Our kinds of weird don't mix.

Maybe I just didn't click

With your personalities.

Maybe I wasn't enough like you.

Maybe you don't even hate me.

Is it all in my imagination?

Then why do I feel fake,

Uninvited to a party,

Like I'm the one who's wrong,

The one who doesn't belong?

I want to be with you

But you won't allow it.

I wanted to help

But that was against the rules.

So what now, I ask you fools?

Waste my time with those

Who don't care about me?

No, I refuse!

I can't even make time

For dear friends,

If they really exist.

But that matters not,

I'm tired of being ignored.

I'm done.

This is the last thought

I'm wasting on you.

Go ahead,

Think what you will,

I've got myself still

And I bet that bothers you.

I hope something

About me bothers you

Because you hurt me.

Guilt would be fair,

But knowing you,

You won't care.

Which is too bad,

Because if you did,

We would have been better fit.

So forget about me,

Let me slip your mind.

I was nobody to you any way.

I'll fade away into nothing.

For you, it will be easy,

But I'll probably remember you,

Especially, because I don't want to.

You didn't mean to crush my dream

But you did it all the same.

I hope you're happy,

You're not the outcast,

Not the fool trying to be cool

At least, you're not me.