Please, oh, please,
Stop haunting me.
I'll repent for my sin,
I'll swallow my lofty pride,
I am half shamed to death.
The guilt will bury me alive,
If the blame doesn't first.
Oh, it's killing me,
Killing me!
I can't go back
To my eternal spring,
The only happy times
Are locked away in my mind,
Memories of a hazy past.
I want her back,
I want my best friend back.
I am tired of being the villain,
I am tired of being scared.
I would run and hide,
Already cheated and lied.
I deserve to lose her,
My words could have
Permanently taken her away.
It's entirely my fault.
Maybe it was so uncomfortable,
Maybe it was so inappropriate,
Maybe it felt so wrong,
But what I did was far worse.
I knowingly hurt her,
I don't deserve her:
Friendship,
Adoration,
Trust.
I destroyed everything:
Paranoia,
Desperation,
Mistaken lust.
A year later,
She still haunts me.
I no longer want me,
She still haunts me.
I have become the coward,
That I never wanted to be.
So I have finally have
Swallowed my ego whole,
I have exposed
My throat like the sad soul I am.
I am ready to repent,
I am ready to give in,
I am tired of fighting.
I am carrying such a heavy weight.
Whether or not now,
She feels for me
Love, apathy, or hate.
My ghosts will finally
Let me be,
And I can rest in peace.
YOU ARE READING
The Songs of The Gullible Wiseman: The Early Poems of Maddy Kobar 2008-2013
PoetryA young writer's newly released first collection of poems. Written during the tumultuous and at times troubling years of high school and the more forgiving and enlightening years of college, Maddy Kobar captures what it was like to have come of age...
