𝕴 𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 ~ Regulus black x reader

15

Lily Evans, I hated that girl, she was annoying little miss know it all. I couldn't stand it! her and her perfect grades and her beauty and miss girl next door attitude. shes probably never even gotten drunk before! I don't know what James sees in her. it made me wanna smash my head between a door just thinking about them together. I decided I needed to go for a walk.

 I left the common room avoiding the glares of my old group of friends as I walked past, attempting to look confident. I could hear their whispers, traitor, mudblood lover, suck up, ugly, fat, rude, rash. I wouldn't bother lashing out at them, they were right so why should I fight it. I was walking up from the dungeons with plans to go to the astronomy tower but nothing ever really went my way did it? of course just the person I least wanted to see right now ran right into me,

"hey! watch it!" I shouted at the redhead as she shoulder checked me

"oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know blood supremacist snakes had feelings" My blood boiled and I snapped,

"I might be rude, I might be rash, hell I might be ugly, I might be a snake but if there's one thing I'm not, it's heartless, grow up and learn how to know someone before you fucking judge them" she stood shocked and I turned to walk away again. 

"you are heartless, you probably don't care about James or Sirius or Remus and peter for that matter, you probably never did, its no wonder your parents disowned you" that was it. no more being nice. 

"my parents might've disowned me but I go by every day spending every single last breath worrying about James and Sirius, they're my brothers whether I was disowned or not, you and your words will never take that from me, Evans. and why do you care so much anyways, I've heard you on multiple occasions call James an idiotic worthless pig, so why, do you care. unless..." I gasped as I looked at her beet red face "you actually like James! and now you're fucked because you've denied him for so long, and now! you have to keep up your little charade of hating him! ohoho now this is golden ladies and gentlemen. how did you Lily Evans, miss golden girl fall for the troublemaker of the year, James Potter!" I couldn't stop my cackling laughter as she ran away. 

Oh, I don't think I'll ever let this go, I continued to laugh, clutching my cramping sides. I wiped my tears and continued my walk, this was the best blackmail ever. 

~~~~~~~~~ time skip to the end of the year sorry I got bored~~~~~~~~

I don't think I've ever been this stressed in my life, tomorrow was the testing day for my owls, I usually naturally do well on tests but these were owls. a whole other level of testing and stress. I was seriously (don't you dare) considering cheating. I had to take eight exams, Potions, Defense against the dark arts, history of magic, care of magical creatures, herbology, transfiguration, charms and astronomy. as of right now, I was pacing in my little hidden room of the library, I had a crystal glass with whiskey and ice in it on the table. Papers were strewn about, crumpled, ripped and thrown in my frustration. I picked up a random book and screamed in anger as I chucked it across the room.

 I can't do this. how in the hell did I ever think I was able of being a potioneer? oh, right, bloody Slughorn put it in my head. I threw another book and pulled on my hair. I need to do something, run? no, I don't have the energy for that. practice quidditch? no not that either. maybe James? ugh no, he'll just annoy the shit outta me. I know! I need to fly! I transformed into my smaller form, the raven I had quickly become accustomed to. I adjusted my shimmering black feathers and prepared to pounce. 

in seconds I had flown up and out the window, gliding down the expanse of the castle. I was so happy, the cool early summer breeze against my beak. this is what it's like to be free. I don't think there's anyone else or anywhere else in the world that can give me this rush, well, actually that's a lie. I perched myself in the astronomy tower.

 Regulus made me feel this way, happy, exhilarated, like life was worth living. but was it really? all my friends left me, my ex-boyfriend is a blood supremacist dick, but yet, I still love him. Why couldn't I have just said it, I wouldn't be here now, I would be on my way, getting over him, what's so special about him?

well, he loved me.

~~~~~~time skip to on the train after the end of the year~~~~~~~

I sat with my head placed in Sirius's lap and my legs on James's. on our way home, only, I was the only one without a home to return to. I had a plan though, I may be disowned from the family but I still have all of my savings, enough to last two equally luxurious lifetimes. I figured I would do the exact opposite, hopping around London, staying anywhere and everywhere. Sirius looked down at me,

"so, Y/n/n I think we've all been wondering, where do you plan to stay?" I just shrugged,

"little of this little of that. I'll stay in touch obviously though" they all nodded hesitantly, I rolled my eyes, "guys, I'm a big girl I can handle myself" 

"oh we know, doesn't mean we won't worry about you though" James sighed. we sat in silence after that. I could tell they were trying to think of ways to convince me to stay, but I wouldn't I wanted to be free, go everywhere and anywhere. the room was still consumed by the awkward silence as the train stopped. I grabbed my trunk as fast as I could and hugged the boy's goodbye and promised to write. just as I was leaving the station I caught Regulus's piercing grey eyes, his parents standing menacingly behind him, each with a hand on his shoulders, quickly steering him away. I sighed and left the platform, I had to find somewhere to stay for the night.