Decisions

Chapter 6

When my eyes reach his arms, I gasp and suddenly everything makes sense. The wierd reaction from Nick. Everything. Right there on both of his arms are dozens and dozens of cuts all across his arms. "Baby, why did you do that?" I ask him as tears beginto fill my eyes. He just looks at me. "Joseph? Why did you do this?" I ask him once again. "You woudn't understand." He says simply. Then walks off to his room. I just stand there staring after him dumbly. Numb. Unable to move. I glance around and see Nick standing there with a curious expression. "You let him do this to himself?!?!" I yell, the fury coming in full force now. "No, Janey. Let me explain." He begins but before he can finish I go in the direction I saw Joe go. I push open the door that I know to be the guest room and see him laying there in bed and just staring out into space with that distant look once again. "There is no way in hell you are gonna make me feel like shit about this. YOU were the one who told ME to leave after I told you everything I went through. YOU were the one who hurt ME. Why the fuck are you trying to play the victim Joseph Adam?! What about me, huh? Did you fucking think about how I would feel once I saw that? Did you think I would just forgive you for doing that? After everything we have been through. You cut yourself over me!! What the fuck.. I am so sick of this shit Joe. YOU were the one who fucked up not me. You hurt me, not the other way around. God! I am so fucking done!" I scream before turning around to leave. I get halfway to the door and something stops me. I turn around and there he is with a razor to his wrist making yet another mark. "STOP!!!!" He jumps slightly but doesn't quit cutting. Just digging deeper and deeper. Oh god, what have I done? "Nick!!!!" I scream terror filling my veins. "Call 911!" I turn to Joe to see him finally drop the razor. "Joe! Come on Joe! You don't have to do this. It doesn't need to be this way." I tell him. I remember a time when somebody said that exact same sentence only it wasn't me.
-begin flashback-
May 2013
Joe and I have been together for quite some time and now we having another fight but this time it was worse. So much worse. I have just given up, I am tired of fighting with him for this same thing. "Come on Janey." He says, a pleading look in his eyes. "How many times have I told you she's just a friend?" I look at him trying so damn hard to believe him but I had picture proof. "Joe, it's hard to believe when she's like a supermodel gorgeous and your ex girlfriend. "Demi is just a friend." He says the anger in his voice beginning to rise. I just look at him. "I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I just--I just can't handle it. I mean Demi is amazing. She's better for you anyways. I thought I could handle your lifestyle and the rumors and everything else. But, I can't. I'm sorry. I love you but our relationship is over." I say with tears running down my face. Yes, that was my insecurities talking but what would you think when you see them in an article hugging and laughing and smiling. I mean really. Have you seen Demi Lovato she is fucking gorgeous. "Come on Janey. Please" He begged. "Just please. Don't do this. This doesn't have to be this way." He says with tears beginning to flood his eyes. "Yes, it does. I'm sorry." Then I turned around and walked out prepared to never see Joe again. A few days later I was at my apartment, cleaning determined to get my mind off of Joe when my phone rang. I sighed fulling expecting to see Joe's name once again flashing across my screen so imagine my surprise when it was a number that I didn't recognize. "Hello?" I said. "Is this Janine Mason?" The voice asked. That voice sounded oddly familiar but I couldn't pinpoint exactly where I had heard that voice from. "Yes it is. Who's calling?" I asked hesitantly. "This is Demi Lovato." My mouth dropped open in shock. "Oh my god! This is one of my biggest dreams ever. I love you so much. You are amazing!" I said gushing. This was the first time I have ever spoken to Demi. "Uh not that I'm not totally enjoying this but why are you calling?" I ask hesitantly. A strange feeling in the pit of my stomach is telling me I know the exact reason she is calling. "Well, I spoke to Joe the other day and he told me everything that has been going on between you two. And I wanted to ensure you I am not sleeping with your boyfriend." She said calmly and matter of factly. "Ex." I said simply. She sighed. "I really think you are making a big mistake. I am happy in the relationship I am currently in and Joe and I are nothing more than really close friends. I have known the Jonas' for a very long time and I am telling you I have never seen Joe act like this with just another female. So please listen to me. He is not cheating on you. He would never do that to you. I promise." She said sincerely. "Also, I would like you to come to a show so I can meet you properly." She says with a hint of a giggle lacing her voice. "I would love to. Thank you. And I am gonna go speak to Joe right now. Thank you so much." I said sincerely while gathering my keys to go to Joe's place. "You're welcome. Well I will call you when I have a show there so you can come. It was nice to talk to you." "It was nice to talk to you to Demi. Thank you." Then we hung up. I went over to Joe's and explained everything about how I was insecure and my experiences with other men and then the phone call from Demi. He was happy I had come to my senses. About a week later I met Demi officially and then we became best friends from there.
-end flashback-

I snapped out of my little daydream and back into reality when the paramedics entered the room. I turned my attention to the broken shell of a man that I loved and I knew I would do anything to help him get better. He was glancing over at my tear stained face with a fearful look on his face. I walked over to him and took his none occupied hand in mine. I gave him a gentle smile. "We'll get you better Joe. I promise." I told him. "You're not leaving?" He asked. I shook my head. "We've been through too much to give up now." I said. "I love you." I tell him. "I love you too." He says. I sigh. This is a mess. But we'll get through this.