Reality : Not So Beautiful [COMPLETED]

5

One glance at his photo crashed my mind into the thousand pieces of memories. Thanks goodness I was not connected to him in any of the social media. Otherwise I don't know how many times I would have had nervous breakdowns.
Leaving my phone by my side my hands crawled at the 3rd drawer to take out those last memories of school and mostly him. The piece of paper with the words- "Valo thakis!! Stay blessed -Pranzal Roy"
... It was the last day of school. Everyone was so emotional. I and Chitra too were nostalgic about our school days. We were talking about those sweet n sour memories, our teachers, those long morning assembly and the lunch breaks. No teacher attended our class that day and everyone was busy penning down their thoughts in each other's white shirt. The couples sat together planning their further long distance relationships and all. Meanwhile I sat down to write on someone's T-shirt and a familiar voice came near me. It was Partho who seemed to drag Pranzal to my section. My eyes were fixed at his face.
"Hey Pritha give your shirt.. he will write on it" said Partho
I realized that I have been staring at him and so I put my eyes down. I took out the copy in which a bunch of people have already written something or the other and handed it over to him.
He sat in the second last bench and I sitting behind him couldn't resist myself from staring at him, let it only be his back. I felt a little uncomfortable so I moved my eyes away from him and found out that every pair of eyes in the class were staring at me. Some commented. Some giggled. Some eyes teased me.
He wrote and left the class while I couldn't resist my tears. Later Chitra told me "You know Pritha, while Pranzal left the class he turned to look at you and I felt his eyes were moist"
"He is just nostalgic about the last day. I always believed he liked me, he saw me. At those times you all were against me, you all teased me even bodyshamed me, and now what made you think he turned to see me.. and bla bla.."
The past two years had made me so tough that I still now don't believe Chitra, but somewhere my heart wants to accept it as truth.
Since that day he has always been with me through these pages. Not only he remained in my memories, his existence was always proved from these papers. I had kept it away from me. But those dark nights when my heart ached and my soul wanted to be touched, to be loved and a helpless broken me wanted to go to him and find out answers to those unanswered questions within me; these papers were the ones who helped me heal these scars. Sometimes it was these papers that held me back to move on and made new scars over the scattered pieces of my soul.

I cried my heart out today holding these papers in one hand and his photo on another. My eyes swelled up. At a sudden moment of the dark silent night my sobs stopped, not a single voice passed out of my larynx not even a cry.
"It was a past. Move on. How many days will you cry for the one who was never yours. Fairy tale endings are good to read in books where the hero and heroine meet up suddenly and sort out everything and there after have a happily ever after. You can have a happily ever after too... just move on..." I could hear my own voice saying it in my head.
That's it.. I will move on