Beyond Our Lies

t h i r t y o n e

"Wait you actually said that?" Alex asked for the millionth time while stuffing his face with unhealthy snacks. It was a few hours after school was out and we were all sitting around the living room of the beach house, playing video games.

I was currently sitting on one of the loveseats- well more like laying. I was draped across it as my legs and head hung off it. "Yes! Why is that so hard to believe?" I exclaimed with a smile, my hands moving in a dramatic fashion.

"I don't believe you." I scoffed and sat up at his false claims, looking at him with narrowed eyes. Realizing Alex was attempting to get under my skin, I rolled my eyes and flipped him off. He returned the favor.

"Fuck you, you cheated!" Oliver's burst made me jump and stare at him wide eyed. Xander had beat him yet again without a sweat. He simply stared at him unfazed until he heard the word 'cheated,' causing him to refute. The rest of us laughed as Oliver and Xander began fighting on the assumption of playing right. It went on far longer than needed but they somehow made a deal. Once they calmed down, they decided to quit playing and watch tv.

After twenty or so minutes, my mood drastically decreased. I hated feeling this way because it made me feel empty and a bother to everyone else. Standing up, I started to walk off when someone grabbed my hand and I retracted it immediately. I glanced back and saw it was Xander and I felt shitty.

"Where are you going?" He asked. I noticed he was trying to hide the sadness in his eyes from when I snatched my hand out of his grasp. Leaning back, he sat on the couch with his phone in his hand, attempting to appear unbothered.

"I'm just gonna call it a night."

Xander's eyes flickered to the clock above the tv. "It's only 7pm."

I shrugged and began walking out of the living room once again. "I just want to be alone right now."

Without even giving any of the boys the chance to say something to me, I walked into my temporary room and softly closed the door. Going to my bed, I plopped on it with my back against the mattress and stared at the ceiling.

They probably think i'm a bitch.

I should go apologize.

There was no point in walking off like that.

Yet as those accurate thoughts overtook my mind, I instead pulled the covers over me and snuggled into Jace's hoodie. I closed my eyes and a hopeless sigh released. Sleep overcame me and I felt nothing, just like before.

• • •

A soft knock tapped on my door and I rolled to my other side so I would be facing it. Saying my okay, the person walked in.

"You doing okay?" His forest eyes held concern and usually it would make my heart swell but right now it was quite the opposite. He shouldn't care about me. Why the fuck does he care about me?

Nodding my head, I forced a smile and he sighed. "Do you want to come eat lunch with us? You haven't left this room and it's already 3pm."

"I'm good. Thank you, though." My voice was hoarse from just waking up and in complete monotone.

Xander reluctantly walked out before coming back in and setting some goldfish on the dresser for me. That got my lips to quirk up a centimeter then went back to normal as I closed my eyes once again, allowing no thoughts to be better than intrusive ones.

Xander's pov:

"What's wrong with her?" I asked no one in particular as I sat on one of the stools in the kitchen.