Beyond Our Lies

f o r t y t h r e e

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!! Author's note !!
trigger warning:: death and overdose

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Time decided to antagonize me through the duration of my morning classes, as if it knew I had wanted to get lunch over and done with so it decided to torture me for a quick little giggle. When the final bell declaring lunch rang, I stood up and darted out of the doors. Needing to find Xander for moral support, I went back to our group chat texts where we sent all of our schedules to each other. He was quite a few halls down for me yet I made my way towards it still, knowing he would be waiting for me.

Crowds lingered within the halls as Sunshine Diners was still closed for the Winter holidays. It never opened until the tenth so Jackie, El, and everyone else could spend additional time with their friends and family. It was a thoughtful gift by the owner, one that always warmed my heart and made my body feel fuzzy and full of appreciation. Only today, this sentiment twisted into bitterness as the girls will have an uptick in people rather than the limitations within the diner walls.

I found Xander leaning against the baby blue lockers with his legs crossed, hands in his pockets, and eyes faintly shut. If it wasn't for his usual brooding demeanor laying upon his face, I would have assumed he was asleep. Despite being surrounded by fake classmates who despise him, he gave into comfort. I wanted to get to that point of unbothered. Poking his cheek caused him to snap open his eyes before his reserved smile dawned down on me. Motioning to the end of the hallway, we walked alongside each other to my dreaded fate.

I didn't want to think about that right now, even if it was mere minutes away. Just being in the presence of Xander made my stomach flutter like it was the first day he spoke to me. Glancing up at him, I quietly admired him. The way his dimple appeared on his left cheek when he smiled hard, or the way his hair fell every which way making him looking even more boyish. He could be doing the most stupid expression yet I could never deem anything of him a physical flaw. And despite our psychological flaws, he was still the most alluring man, ever.

When he glanced down and noticed my staring, he grinned, "What are you blushing about?"

My hands reached to feel the intense heat of my cheeks and internally groaned, annoyed I couldn't hide my admiration. "Nothing, just thinking about you."

He let out a quiet laugh, catching the attention of the girls around us who smiled and watched him continue down the hall without a glance towards them. The knowledge that I could hear that laugh everyday rather than them made an unusual feeling float around my heart. Xander must have noticed this inner turmoil and smirked, nudging my still rosy cheeks. "What were you thinking about? Us getting married and getting a dog named Bella?"

"Stop!" I laughed loudly and swatted his hands away. "If anything, her name is going to be Alice."

He laughed slightly and stared ahead. "Alice? Hm, I can get with that idea." I grinned at him but I doubt he could see it. "Only if we have a boy dog named Jasper."

Xander looked down at me and I happily nodded my head and quietly squealed, bouncing in my walk in excitement. "It'll be so cute! Oh my god now we have to."

Xander licked his lips and mumbled, "Anything for you." My heart swelled as he opened the cafeteria door for us, motioning me to enter first before closing the door on those behind us.

After dealing with the annoying lunch line, we acquired our food and meandered out way to the table everyone had already claimed. My eyes continuously darted around to the other cafeteria tables, attempting to find any of the three girls to determine if they were about to speak up. As the minutes ticked and I still could not find them, my anxiety levels dramatically heightened. I clasped my hand around Xander's right one and he leaned over to give me a quick forehead kiss. "You can lean on me if you need to, whatever you need." Taking the suggestion, I rested my head against his fit upper arm. The table had seemingly went quiet after my silent nature.