Beyond Our Lies

f o r t y o n e

Juniper's pov:

My eyes were permanently fixed on the locked bedroom door as my mind was overflowing with every emotion available. I had no motivation, let alone want, to walk out that door because I knew that whatever my choice was, I'd still have to see Xander at some point.

Xander.

I'm so fucking pissed at him right now. The memories of last night came in faint bursts and flashes but the most heart wrenching occurrence was so vivid, it felt as if I was physically in that moment still. He popped the pills like it was the simplest action to do and instead of helping him, I pathetically broke down into someone's arms and passed out soon after.

Fuck, I shouldn't be so mad at him. He's going through something and me being mad will just make it worse. I pressed the palms of my anger shaken hands into the duvet, letting them crinkle the blanket in comfort. With that, I released shaky breaths one after another, each one slower than the last. My anger had been increasing rapidly these past few weeks and I needed to make sure I didn't snap at anyone even though it was bound to come.

When I was finally in a calm state, I clumsily stood up and walked into the adjoined bathroom along the opposite wall. I fixed myself up as best as I could before switching off the light and heading out of the bedroom.

The hallway I travelled was eerily vacant but I could here the presences in the kitchen. I stepped on the sides of the walkway to avoid crushed solo cups, not wanting to give away where I was at. As I got closer, the voices got louder. Everyone seemed to be laughing and talking with each other.

With one long exhale, I stepped into the doorway. All voices ceased as I overviewed the kitchen. The only person missing was Raven however that didn't surprise me. What did surprise me however, was Xander. He appeared pale and had a fluffy blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon, occasionally moving from his shivers.

I slowly made my way in and sat on one of the empty chairs. Peering the table at the foods, I grabbed an orange and a banana. Opening the  banana first, I was about to take a bite when I still felt numerous silent stares. With a fake smile on my lips, I spoke, "You know, it's very nerve wracking to eat a banana in front of guys. Especially you, horny fucks."

Chuckles came from around the table and they put their attention elsewhere. "Not anymore. I got laid last night for the first time in like, a month," Alex stated proudly with a wide grin. My mouth went agape as did the boys.

"You lucky bastard! So you and Raven were the only ones who actually got some action last night? Man, thats rough for us," Oliver exclaimed and scoffed before standing from the table and going to the fridge.

I gasped loudly and stared wide eyed. "Raven?" Oliver nodded. "But I thought she left after... after helping me."

Elijah laughed and spoke for the first time. "She left the girl once I texted the group chat to help out."

I was absolutely dumbfounded and the look on my face must have showed that because the guys all started laughing. Mumbling, I rolled my eyes and continued eating my banana. She's going to need to tell me everything.

Conversation continued for a while until they realized that neither Xander or I had spoken to each other. Shit, we hadn't even stole a glance since I walked into the kitchen. The tension in the room was now thick, the happiness dying out like a fuse. "So..." Oliver trailed off.