MEMORIES....SOME LAST A LIFETIME

Chapter Two

Sanem packed for the rest of the day, along with her bouts of crying.  " Why did it have to be so hard. We have been through so much already. " she mumbled.  Thinking back on it, there seemed to be more bad times than good. The year he was gone reduced her to a mere ghost of herself. The survival of that almost didn't happen. The time in the hospital plagued her but she fought back, able to resume a certain realm of sanity from it. 

The night lingered and she didn't sleep, facing the fact it was her last few hours to live there, the place that saved her and healed her mind. It was going to be hard to leave Mihriban, she had become her family.. She didn't like change but that seemed to be all she had been doing the past two years. Her new life was waiting for her, it may not have Can, but what ever it did hold, she was determined to embrace it. Her writing would keep her sane and her memories would keep her happy..

She had gone to pay the deposit on her new apartment, then CeyCey was helping her with the boxes. He remained a true and devoted friend to her through it all. The sadness he felt for Sanem and Can both was heartbreaking.  He loved Sanem as a sister and would do any thing for her. He would keep this secret with her and not divulge any information that she didn't want him to. They were moving the boxes into her apartment, she only had a few, mainly clothes.  Her phone pinged,  " Oh, it's Can. " she stated.  It read, " We are here, things are fine."  She blinked away the tears that were forming and replied. "  Have fun. "  Ceycey wrapped his arms around her, letting her lean on him emotionally while she cried.                                                                                          

His text seemed so bland and ordinary, it was empty.

With the move  complete and things partially straightened,  Ceycey left to go back to work. Sanem decided to go immediately and hand in her resignation letter.  One more thing to make it official.  Leila was having a hard time accepting her decision, so seeing her at the agency would be emotional.  Her sister thought she should give Can more time to recover, not make a hasty decision.  No one understood the pain and hurt she endured each day, watching Can return to his old life, the life that didn't include her..  This is the way it had to be..

Emre excepted her resignation with regret and hesitation. Knowing full well the part he had played in the destruction of Sanem.  They had since repaired their flawed relationship and become friends and family.  With tears he asked her if she was sure in what she was doing.                     " Emre, I know if I don't do this now, I will be back in the mental hospital within a month. "  she mumbled.  " This is really for the best. " Emre asked, " What do I tell Can went he gets home? "    She laughed, " Tell him I've gone to restart my life,"  She replied, giving him a hug, and then Leila. And as she left she waved and blew kisses to everyone..  When Can came home she realized she would have to tell him why she had made this decision, and she would tell him, no matter how much it hurt....

She had never stayed alone, like really alone. At the farm there was Denise and Mihriban always around.  She cherished the thought of it, thinking of the empowerment she felt to be in control of her own happiness..She picked up a few necessities at the market on her way back  to her apartment. She could have what ever she wanted, that made her feel good. Not having to worry about the money aspect had freed her to concentrate on her writing.  She had a quick bite and settled in to write a few chapters..The roller coaster of a life she had been on the past days had proven  to be exhausting.  She fell asleep,  a deep sleep that unleashed the dreams she hated to have. This one was vile and hurtful, Can was dismissing her like she was a servant,  laughing and shooing her out of the door, saying " I can't imagine what I ever saw in you. You are so childish and juvenile acting."  Then the laughing and laughing.  She woke in a sweat, crying, confused as to where she was, then she realized, "It was just a dream, that really didn't happen. "  she looked at her phone, it was 3:00am.  " Wow I completely passed out. "  She changed into her PJ's and got in bed.  Sleep was definitely over for her tonight. She thought.  She was finishing her third chapter as she saw the daylight seep in around the curtains. " Well I made it through the first night, Only a billion more to go. "

The morning made her feel better, she was definitely a morning person, it came from opening up the grocery store all those years for he dad. She made tea and scrambled her some eggs, that was pretty safe couldn't mess that too much.  She cleaned the kitchen and got dressed.  Her mind held on to the roving thoughts of Can and how much fun he was having without her. She knew it wasn't his fault he lost his memory of her, but that didn't make it hurt any less..She must had done something bad somewhere in her life to be put in this much pain. 

A walk would be nice, she thought,  get to know your neighborhood.  Maybe you will meet someone interesting that you can write about in your book.  She took the afternoon and roamed the streets around her apartment. This wasn't like her little neighborhood,  no one paid any attention to her, no one waved and said, "  Good Afternoon, Sanem. "  My how her life was so different from the city life..

Exhausted, she made her way back home and up the stairs. She made her dinner, took it out to the small balcony, that had a little round table and one chair. 

The loneliness surrounded her, but she had to hold on, if she didn't, the next loss would be her soul and then she knew her heart would die.....