Chapter 9

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Demi's pov

I sat up in bed and looked at the time. 10:23 PM. I'm never in bed at this time, especially on a Friday night. I grabbed my phone and opened up Snapchat to see Matthew and Sirah out to the club having a great time together. I wished I could go but I knew it wasn't going to be the best for me.

I looked at more of my friends stories. They were either out partying or doing something that I wasn't invited too. I sighed as I began to feel this overwhelming sense of loneliness. It made me depressed to think about not having a boyfriend, husband, kids, or anyone really to come home too.

The worst part to think about was that it was my own fault. When I overdosed, I had finally pushed everyone over the edge to leave me. People were either tired of my shit and couldn't take me hurting them anymore or they were bad influences that led me down that path. Or you know, just like with Matthew, it was that they were great friends but I can't just ask them to up & change their lifestyles to fit my triggers.

I found myself lingering once again back to the box of items that were in Phil's office. I began to look through the photos again and found a picture of the cast and I. It was a lot less lonely back then.

It really sucked that most of these people I had pushed away or decided they were worthy of being friends with me anymore

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It really sucked that most of these people I had pushed away or decided they were worthy of being friends with me anymore. I had made so many great friends on the set of Camp Rock & I was a well-liked person. I just wasn't sure what had happened to me along the way.

Ding!

Suddenly my phone went off and I knew immediately who it was. Joe. We had been talking for the past couple days off and on and too be quite honest it felt good but the feelings were so conflicting.

On one hand, of course I was happy to have him back in my life. He was practically my rock before and up until my overdose I would've never imagined my life without him.

On the other hand though, he was married. I had to almost keep reminding myself every time he sent me a message that he wasn't mine anymore. He belonged to Sophie. He was hers, not mine. It hurt me to even think about that.

The most conflicting part was that sometimes if I let my brain ponder it too much I almost didn't even care. It was almost like his marriage was a joke to me. He was the love of my life since 2007. How was I just supposed to let him go to some girl he had been married to for nine months now? It was hard for me to think about.

I looked at the twitter message he had sent me.

Hopefully your night is going better than mine.

I wondered what was up with him. I knew it wasn't my place to figure it out anymore but how could I resist? I sighed as considered inviting him over or not.

No, I couldn't. That wasn't right. He was married.

At the same time though, he was mine. Everyone also knows there has always been unfinished business there.

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