𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 | 𝚜.𝚙

»𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫«

Two days had passed and I was in bed ever since that night, I couldn't bare to get up and change in fresh clothes nor talk to Jen about the mess in my mind.
I did as Jessica advised me to do, keep my kindness.
And with that kindness all the problems literally trickled down on me.

When she was at work I sometimes cried until there were no tears left. That I love you really got me off track. I thought I would never hear this from her again.

It sounds pathetic, because I should be happy with whom I am. That's when all the dams broke again and I started sobbing anew.
I couldn't even force myself to get up for filming the other day, and when thinking of it now it was best that I stayed in here.

»So honey, do you feel better?« Jen asked as she entered our bedroom.
I was a nervous wreck and immediately started to shed tears when I heard her saying this. She was too good for me and I was just an idiot for keeping secrets from her.
»I see, rest I don't know what's in your mind but if you want to talk about it you know that I'm always here for you,« she softly spoke.

I was so touched from what she said that I fell into her arms.
Her hand soothingly stroked over my back, she said nothing and just let me rest there.

——————♡︎♡︎♡︎

Later that day I had enough of laying around and blow tribulation. My closet was like wonderland and also as chaotic, before I could pull out one of my oversized hoodies everything fell out of its place.

I sighed in frustration, why now?
When I folded the fallen laundry and stacked it neatly back in the closet, I decided to go for a walk around the block.

Jen was out for work and the clock showed 3 pm when I left the apartment in clothing that let me look homeless, but I was too lazy to dress properly.

The sun was at its highest and it was unbearable hot. My mind was a mess and all my thoughts were roaming around about that sentence, Jen and my decisions I made the past years.

I kicked little pebbles on the pavement, I've always been overthinking everything and maybe the meaning of her I love you wasn't that meaningful, after all she was drunk.

This walk was supposed to calm my mind but eventually it was only agitated more.
»Oh god,« I sighed and put my hands in my pockets.

»Y/n!«

I jumped, that was unexpected.
»Yeah?« I asked when I turned around.
I wanted to throw up when I saw who it was.

Holland Taylor.

Could this day get any worse?

»What do you want?« I questioned trying not to show my annoyance towards her.
»Where's Sarah?«

»I don't know, isn't she your girlfriend?«
I genuinely didn't know, she could be at the hotel or she could've left, what do I know? I am not her babysitter and she didn't report me where she went.

»Y/n, I know you know something I wanted to apologise but she's no where to be found,« her voice raised when she said that.
»Holland, She could be at that Hotel in Downtown I really don't know more about her location, could you please let me be now?« I almost begged for her to leave me alone.

Ugh, that woman really gave me the tingles in my fingers. I only saw her twice in the last years and every time that occurred I wanted to punch her right in the face.

She had a bad energy and in that moment I just wanted to be 1000 miles away from her.
Even this walk turned out to be shit, when will the days of mental torture end?

She eyed me suspicious.

»I have to go now, try to check the hotel out,« I remarked and really tried to show at least a bit of kindness.
Holland nodded and I made my way back home.

Deep down I knew that I do care about Sarah, somehow I was a little worried about where she could be.

But it was none of my business, was it? And she didn't owe me an explanation.

—————-♡︎♡︎♡︎

When I arrived home, Jen had made noodles with soy sprouts. We talked about our day even though I hadn't had much to say.

I kept the conversation with Holland for me, because I didn't want to worry her.

The first time in two days that I ate at the dining table and not in our bed. It felt good and Jen comforted me.

I'll pull myself together tomorrow and go back to set. I can and I will do it.

But I didn't know what's gonna happen when I show up at set again.

—————————-

ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴄʀᴀᴘᴘᴘᴘ
ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ᴀ ʙᴜғғᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ʜᴀʜᴀ

I ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏ'ᴀʟʟ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ <3
sᴛᴀʏ sᴀғᴇ♥︎

-ʏᴏᴜʀs sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ sᴏᴘʜɪᴀ♡︎