11th of December 13:05
Seven months.. It's been seven months since he left. I couldn't sleep last night, i tried but i just couldn't. This happens every night before all anniversaries. Since i couldn't sleep i sat outside. I looked at all the stars and i started to guess wich one was him. I started to pray that this was all a nightmare. But i know it's not, i know that i will never see his blue eyes again, i know i won't smell his cologne anymore, i know i will never see the stupid smirk again, i know that i will never see his smile. When things like this happen, i just sit outside. It calms me. I guess it calms me because it reminds me of the first time he slept in my house, my parents hated the idea, but Alex and Maddy helped me convincing them. I remember that i couldn't sleep because i had a nightmare so i woked him up and told him.. He simply smiled, a smile that could light up a whole town, and took my hand. We were sitting on my balcony and he started to play his guitar. He played one of my favorite songs, "I miss you", and when he was singing i felt like it was just me, him and the stars.. Everything was so perfect that night. It was actually the first time we said "i love you". We fell asleep watching the stars. He had his arms wrapped around me and i had my hands on his chest, and i felt so secure.. I had school today and Miss Williams (my Chemistry teacher) talked about him.. She reminded everyone that he died seven months ago. Everyone looked at me and the captain of the football team actually told that he was glad he died. I felt sick and i felt the need to stand up for you. So i snapped and i started crying, and they sent me home. I didn't come home until an hour ago, i couldn't let my parents see me like this.. So as soon as i left school i went to our place. It was a hill and you could see the city, it was beautiful at night because you could see the city lights shining. I simply sat there, staring and thinking of him. I haven't talked to Liz ever since the day he died.. She handed me a letter but i still haven't opened it yet. I can't do it. I don't feel prepared to read it. I miss her actually, she was like a second mom to me. But i can't talk to her because she reminds me of him. Haley and the boys are taking me to the cemitery today. I didn't want to go alone, i hope i don't see his mother or his family. I've consider burning all of his belongings. The shirt-s he gave me, the necklace, the photos but i couldn't!! Those are the only things i have left of him. Haley and the guys are here..
15:59
I just got home from visiting him.. Thankfully i didn't saw his family. As soon i got inside Ashton's car they all looked at me and gave me sympathetic smiles and i faked one too. I don't want them to feel pity, and i know that they will make endless questions and as much as i love them, i'm tired. As soon as we got to the cemitery i felt like breaking down but i stood firm. I took a deep breath and went inside. Haley held my hand the whole time, Ash and Calum cried a little but Michael stood strong and wrapped his arms around me.. I left some roses and a candle. They didn't took me home, they decided that we should walk for a little. We walked around town and everyone looked at us, we heard things like "poor girl, they used to date, she must miss him" or "he got what he deserved, he wasn't good news", i hated it. I wanted to turn around and snap at them but i didn't have the strenght for such thing. And i knew i would break down, so i looked at the ground and kept walking. They noticed but i have to, at least, look okay. My mom was home and as soon as i stepped inside the house she hugged me. And i broke down. I let all my tears come out, i let all my emotions come out. My mom held me and soothed me. It hurts like hell. I miss him so much. Why did you left me, Luke? You promised you'd be here forever. Where are you? Come back, please. I need you.
THIRD CHAPTEEEEER, HOPE YOU GUYS ARE LIKING IT XX
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Beautiful Goodbye (punk luke hemmings fanfic)
Romance"Maybe you'll understand all my actions, when i'm no longer around"- he whispered
