Identity Crisis Book 1 & 2

Chapter 5: Never Good Enough

There were Crystal pillars, and the lights lights were dim yellow. The Tardis beeped at the familiar Timelord, welcoming her, "Hello Annabel, it has been some time. It's ever so nice to see you dear."

The Bell chuckled, "Well it's nice to see you too. Tell me, is The Doctor around?"

A female appeared from under the console, "Did someone call for a Doctor? Wait, how'd you get in here, oh and who are you?"

The Doctor scanned the woman in front of her and started to ramble, "What?! It can't be, you're a Timelord, but The Master is dead. I used the death particle on him. Unless he escaped. Well, the is always possible. Though, you haven't said anything insulting and your threat level is low. So not The Master. Who are you?"

"Hey! I will let you know I can be very threatening at times. Wait The Master is dead? Did I jump into the future as well?" Annabel checked her Vortex Manipulator, and indeed she had jumped 3 months into the future. As much as she hated it, she felt pain, remorse, he wasn't always bad...she forced her mood to change, 'He couldn't be dead. He's a cockroach, and just plain too stubborn to die.' she thought hopefully, then continued, "_It's me Doctor, can't recognize your first love? Now please get that silly dildo looking stick out of my face." Annabel shot a charming smile

"Oi! It doesn't look—" The Doctor stopped herself to check her own screwdriver, "Well, umm. You know what? Never mind that. You can't be my Annabel. You just can't. She dead. The Master told me he killed her on Gallifray with the others."

"Well, suprise bitch! I'm not dead. I was dead inside, for a while. Turn myself into a sad human, and erased my memories. However, I'm back...Listen, The Master lies, just like you. He teleported me to Gallifray, and here's what happened after..."

The Bell went on to explain her whole adventure to the fidgety Timelord in front of her; by the time the story was over The Doctor had eaten 6 clustered creams.

"It's you isn't it? It really is you? You alive, oh this is brilliant!" The Doctor jumped around, but when she noticed The Bell wasn't jumping as well she stopped, and put a hand on her cheek, "Whats wrong?"

The Bell froze, had The Doctor just shown affection? God she was having so many flash backs. Then she remembered Jodie's advice, it rang through her head, "Pick the right one." She said. Was she referring to The Doctor?

There was a moment where The Doctor swore she could see into her sole through her eyes. They were full of such pain. For a moment she felt herself lean in, and time seemed to slow down. "I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry I hurt you. I can make it right love." She leaned in but right before they kissed Yaz walked in, and they both jumped back from eachother

"Umm I'm I interrupting something, and who are you?" Yaz started to get defensive, she swore, she swore, her Doctor was about to kiss another woman

"Yaz, what are you doing here? Oh, and come on! You're telling me you don't remember your best friend/ex-girlfriend? It's alright, I understand your confusion. I've regenerated since I've seen you've last seen me dear." Annabel went up and hugged the girl

They pulled away, "No way! Annabel?! Is it really you? It's been years! Oh I missed you so much!" Yaz kisses her on the cheek, and hugged her again

The Doctor cleared her throat awkwardly, "Umm, you two know each other?"

"Yeah! We were friends for a year, then dated for a year." Yaz said nonchalantly

"I see. Did you know she was a—?" The Doctor asked

"About that, don't blame her. Yes she knew about everything, I mean me being a Timelord and all. Don't blame her, I told her if she ever met you, and she did, to withhold any information about me. Seems like she did a good job." Annabel smiled at Yaz, who gave a smile in return

"Oh. Well, I guess no need for introductions then. I'll umm, I'm gonna work out something on the Tardis, but feel free to go check out your old room Bell. We can hang out a little later." The Doctor said awkwardly

The two girls looks at each other, Annabel was a tad concerned, had she done something wrong? While on the other hand, Yaz knew to shrug it off, she pulled The Bell down the hallway towards the rooms.

"You should have kissed her. You know deep down she still loves you." The Tardis beeped at The Doctor who was not back under the console

"I was going to, but Yaz came in. It's for the best anyways, I've hurt her too much already." The Doctor remembered they horrible betrayal, they never were the same after that

"You are holding yourself back. Yes you've hurt her, but we all have made mistakes. It doesn't mean you can't fix them." The Tardis whooshed back at the troubled Timelord

"You right." The Doctor sighed

"As I usually am." The Tardis beeped

"I'm going to fix this. In fact, I'm going to do it right now." The Doctor got up and started walking towards The Bell's room with determination

So much determination she forgot to knock, and when she opened the door, her mouth dropped. Her best friend, Yaz, and her first love were kissing. She felt so many emotions. First shock, then emptiness, then pain, oh such pain, then betrayal, and finally rage.

'Is this how The Bell felt when I cheated on her? Wow. I suck, no, she sucks.' The Doctor thought as she seethed

'The Bell pushed Yaz away. Oh Rassilon, The Doctor, she's probably so pissed that she might throw me out. Bloody hell, it wasn't even my fault though, Yaz kissed me. Well, I can't say I didn't like it. Fuck.' The Bell thought, her mind exploding with worries

The Doctor slammed the door.

"Fuck shit. I'll be back Yaz, it's alright." The Bell tired to sound reassuring for the other panicking girl's sake

Annabel ran out the door, and after The Doctor, "It's not what it looks like alright."

"It's not what it looks like? Well I'm pretty sure I just found you kissing my best friend. Has it ever occurred to you that I have feelings and maybe I liked her?" The Doctor fumed

"She kissed me. I pushed her away. You know what you're feeling now, well I felt it times 10, cause you cheated on me with my brother of all people, who apparently now isn't actually my brother." The Bell shot back getting angry

"The irony is I was about to go make it up to you. It was for nothing though. You aren't worth it anyways, you're just like your brother." After The Doctor said it, she i'm mediately regretted it. She was surprised at her own words. How could she tell the one she loved something so untrue and hurtful? She looked at The Bell, two tears fell. The damage had been done.

"I'm nothing like him, but you're right about one thing Theta. I've never been worth it for you. I was never good enough." The Bell ran down the corridor as her tears pored down her face

"I didn't mean it. Don't go..." The Doctor tired to say, but The Bell, her first and truest love, was gone.

"Well, you royally screwed that up." The Tardis whooshed

The Doctor fell to her knees as her head hung in sorrow, and she swore she felt tears on her creeks as she replied, "Yeah...yeah I did."