"You & I - The beginning of Something New"

It's not about Him anymore

"Seriously Jess, i don't know" i put my head in my hands "You have no Idea how much i miss him"  "Perrie, I'm sorry, i never should have brought it up" i sigh "No, its okay jesy, its not your fault" i say getting up "I'm going to start unpacking, you are all welcome to stay or leave" i hurry to my new bedroom and shut the  door, holding in my tears i walk over to a box that says 'Z' i open the box and take out a black leather Jacket and hold it to my chest, i walk back and put my back to the wall and slide to the floor, knees in chest and tears on my cheeks, once more this pain and his memory haunts me, i start to feel that familiar numbness in my body, and not able to move, i start to shake uncontrollably and cry, why is this happening, its not the first time this has happened, this process has been happening for the past few weeks, since i came back from the hospital, i feel someone shake me but i cant hear anything, i start to feel a bit lightheaded and i see black dots, i feel my body fall and i just see three faces look down at me.

JESY POV

I hear her door shut, "UUGHHH!!! i feel horrible, i just had to open my big mouth" "Oh jess, don't worry, i actually think that was good" "Good how?" "Jess i think what she means is that, she has to get used to it, we are in this media,  he is the most known guy in the world, and they were engaged, that are/were the most popular couple, and they are going to ask her about it in interviews, in Meet & Greet, everywhere, and its been more than 4 months, and she hasn't gotten over it, and I'm a bit worried" "I guess so leigh, but i still feel bad about it, and not just for her, for Zayn too-" Okay I'm going to stop right there, why would you feel bad for him, look what he's done to Perrie, he completely destroyed her-" "Leigh..." jade says in a warning tone "he broke her heart into pieces," "Leigh..."      "AND YOU FEEL SORRY FOR HIM?!" "LEIGH ANNE!" "What jade??!" "Stop, just shut up! This is not Jesy's fault, so there is to need to YELL at her" "Pff...Your right, I'm sorry Jesy, i didn't mean to, its just that, it hurts me to see her like this, it hurts me too see her like a Perrie i don't know, i never knew, and i miss my best friend..." "Lee, we all miss her, and to be honest, this change....i don't think it has done her any good" "Well i do, i think she feels different" "Jess i don't know, look, the reason why...." she leans in to us "She still has a box of Zayn's stuff here" "what? are you kidding me? but she said she didn't have anything anymore" "Yeah, hats what i thought, but when i helped her pack, i was going through her closet and there were some jackets and i was about to ask her for it and she said 'Just put those in a box, i'll take care of it' " "And you did it, and left the box there" "Well yes" "Jade you had to do the complete opposite, give it back to him or something" "I'm sorry okay, anyway, if its that bad i'll just take it too him" "Were is it?" "Umm..her, or the kitchen" "Good, everything is fine if she hasn't seen it Jade" she eye rolls me, "I saw that" "Are you some kind if Sidekick?" "Yeah! You have no idea" i say walking into the kitchen, i look thru the boxes "Jade there's nothing here!" "Okay, let me check in here" she shouts back "No  there's nothing he- SHIT!" i see her run to Perrie's room and we follow her, we stand in the door and just stare, she doesn't look well "Perrie Babe, are you okay?" she just rocks back and forth "Perrie!" she doesnt answer, she doesn't even flinch "PERRIE!" she stops and her face goes pale, and that is weird as fuck, perrie is white as a wall "Perrie are you okay?" she stops crying and falls, we rush over "PERRIE! whats going on?" i scream and she just doesn't answer "Jess whats happening?" "I don't know jade! I'm not a doctor!" "Jess what do we do?" i slap her cheek gently "LEIGH! call and ambulance NOW!!" she rushes over to the phone "Perrie c'mon, wake up!" "Oh jess she's not responding!" "I Know JADE! Now calm down!" "The ambulance will be here in 10 minutes"......

We get to the hospital and wait, jade comes and sits next to me, her puffy red eyes and nose visible "You okay baba?" "No" she manages to say "Jade, she'll be just fine, she's a fighter, trust me" i  say hugging her "Jesy, this is all my fault" "Jade don't say that" "Its is, if i hadn't left that box in her room nothing would have happened" "Jade its NOT your fault, the doctor said she is fine, and we can see her soon alright?" "Okay, thank you...did you call her parents?" "Yeah, Debbie is on her way here, and her dad isn't back yet" "Oh, bu-" "Perrie Edwards?" "Yes that's us" i say getting up "I know you aren't family, but she requested you" "Thank you!" i grab jade and Leigh's hand as we walk down the hall of the hospital, we open the door and see her laying there on the bed, she looks better, i smile at her "Hey you! don't you look awful!" "Thanks, i know, don't rub it in JESSICA!" "Perrie!" Jade runs over to her and hugs her "Wow, she was really worried huh?" "Yeah Leigh, she thinks its her fault" i say rubbing her back "Go on" i say nodding towards pezz "Hey pezza" she says giving her a hug.