I'LL SMILE AGAIN

CHAPTER 8

A FEW MONTHS LATER

I Can't believe I'm a college student already, it's sad having to go away from home and leaving mum  all alone, but a girl got to do what she got to do and the only consolation I've is that Greg is here with me. Jenny applied to Columbia University, New York City, knowing Jenny for the life of the party that she is I'm not surprised about her choice, she tried as much as she could to make me apply to NYC and I told her Cali would be better for me. We talk regularly and she promised to come over to Cali if she's on break, her major is Performing art and I can't but envy how free spirited and organized she is.

The session rolled by quickly, and it seems Greg and I promised to stick to the routine of going to class, getting back home and being together, we are hardly apart from each other and infact the only time you wouldn't find us together is when we both attending our various classes. We were  inseparable and we hardly fought, and as if we had both made a resolution never to make new friends.

We however started having issues when Greg went on a week long faculty trip, and he seems so distant when he returned and would only reply me with single syllables, I was confused as I didn't know where we went wrong and I had to confront him one morning and it led to a very terrible argument that quickly got out of hand.
He was sitting at the coffee table when I took the sit across him. "Greg we need to talk" I say, "Hum" he answered as usual, I got discouraged and I was about to back down, I didn't because I saw the need to fix us. "What went wrong with us" I said barely audible for him to hear because I'm trying so hard not to cry, my hands were shaking that I had to lock them together, hiding them under the table so he wouldn't see how broken I was. "Nothing" he said finally, unable to look me in the eyes, "You say nothing Gregory?" I asked raising my voice, "Why are u sabotaging our relationship, where did I go wrong with you, I thought we were friends Greg, friends are supposed to communicate not give themselves the silent treatment and I love you Greg why are you doing this to me?!" I was shouting now. I didn't know how I lost it at that moment I felt as if my whole world was crashing down right before my eyes, I felt so helpless. "Isabella, I'm tired I think we need a break". He whispered making for the door. I ran after him and held his leg holding him so tight "N_n_ooooo, this can't be happening to us, you can't be tired of  us I can't let you take a break so easily, I love you Greg we love each other and it's all that matters to us" I was so desperate at that moment and I could do anything to keep Greg, his eyes was cold and distant that was when the truth hit me and I released his legs and let him go. After he left, I don't know how long I was on the floor crying and whimpering I've never felt so much pain in my life I felt so helpless. Greg didn't come back home and he only came back after 3 days to get his things, he looked rough and has dark circles under his eyes I just sat down looking at him pack up and when he was about to go I said "At least you would tell me where we went wrong" "it's not you Isabella, I'm sorry it's me" he said walking away from all that we had, walking away from our forever, walking away from so many promises made, I didn't lose only my lover, I lost my best friend and I lost  the daddy that never wanted to stay in my life. He said it wasn't me but it's me Daddy left when I was 6, something is definitely wrong with me Greg left me, it seems after all so many promises are meant to be broken I thought screaming so loud that I lost my voice and I didn't know when I fell into a troubled sleep on the floor...
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Still watching the waves hit the rocks from where I sit, I sighed sadly. It's been 5months since Greg walked away from my life and it's only the thought of how indebted  to all of mum's sacrifices that keeps me going, the only thing that I'm interested in now is my studies I can't afford to lose focus on my future. I really want closure, I've so many unanswered questions he owes me an explanation it's the least I deserve. I resolved to looking for him even if he's with the devil himself, yes I will look for him and ask him why he left and walked out on me he owes me that much,  I say as I walk back home...