The way I am (eminem) (re-edit)

Chapter twenty-Eight

I sat down with my legs dangaling over the side, the wall was high ,so my feet didn't even skim the water. It is fucking freezing and my jacket is currently on Marshalls couch, I am an idiot. I am very warm blooded and if I don't want to go cold then normally I can stay warm. Once I slept in the snow on the floor, so it just doesn't bother me anymore.

"you know Marshall's worried about you" some voice spoke up behind me ,which I am pretty sure was Blakes.

"maybe he should stop being a dick then" I replied.

"well Soph ,we are all worried about you"

"Well stop fucking worrying about me!"

"Soph you are sitting in the freezing cold, over the same lake you tried to kill yourself. Now I am so sorry for fucking giving a shit about you"

"You know Blake it's funny, I fear everyday one of you leaving me forever but now, if I died ,I would just be leaving you all behind. Would it really effect you?" I asked and he sat down next to me.

"Honestly Soph, I think Marshall would beat himself up over it. I don't even think he would speak to any of us, maybe proof, but that would be about it. You are his fucking rock Soph, the reason he keeps holding on is because of you. You know before he met you her turned around to me and said he wished he had died that day the kid beat him up and he ended up in a coma, but now he tries just for you. He keeps beating himself up about what he did to you when he was with Kim. He loves you girl you know that right?"

"I try Blake, I really do try. Why are you here by the way?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I came to look for you. Marshall rung and asked if you were with me ,so I said yes and came to find you. I knew you would be fine, because you promised Marshall you would be" he rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah but like I told him, promises are made to be broken"

"Not when you tell him forever and always"

"So he basically read the whole thing to you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Well yeah. Come on ,lets head back mine ,it's cold" he shivered.

"Only for a few hours, then I will get my brother pick me up from somewhere and take me my moms"

"So you have a brother?"

"That I do" we slowly made our way around the corner and into Blakes.

"Want a drink dickhead?"

"No thanks"

"Sound, I will be back in a few" he nodded.

He left to get a drink or whatever so I decide to actually look around, I was here a hell of a lot when me and Marshall weren't speaking ,but I never really pay attention to my surroundings because every time I was here I was either asleep, drunk or stoned.

I never really told Marshall I turned into a bit of a stoner or druggie whatever ,but yeah. Blake walked in a few seconds after and sat down next to me.

"You know Soph, I know it's a touchy subject and such, but you never speak about your family"

"Theres nothing to say about my family. Obviously I had my dad these few years but I did always see my nan, it was the only place I could really go, but she died in the riots a few years back, she was in a shop and they torched it, she couldn't get out. Then theres my mom and apparently my brother" I shrugged.

"Oh shit! Sorry for your loss man"

"No worries, I know i've only been here a few minutes like, but I think i'm going catch the bus home"

"Want me take you back?"

"Naa ,don't worry. I quite like chilling on the bus. Anyway, much love, see you later"

"Ok kid ,see you tomorrow or at Marshall's party"

"Ok bye" I waved and left. I'm not going home theres just no point.

I carried on walking for about 20 minutes. I walked to the front door where music was blaring loud.

"The fuck you doing here?" He answered, confused.

"Shut the fuck up gaz! Do you have any stuff?"

"How much you got?" He propped up his eyebrow.

"20"

"Yeah give me a min" he nodded and went back into the house. He walked back out moments later.

"Here's your weed ,dickhead! Oh and heres a fucking jacket ,you dumb white dick! It's fucking freezing" he laughed handing me my weed and a jacket in exchange for my money.

"Thanks dude"

"You know theres 50 dollars worth there that will last you a fucking month, you're lucky I love you" he laughed.

"Love you too, see you whenever" I thanked ,about to leave.

"Hey ,you going start selling coke for me again soon?"

Crazy really, using kids to move product. It's a lot easier to do, who suspects a kid. I get a cut of the money, it's better for me and him.

"I don't know ,honestly. I will let you know" I nodded and left.

I walked another 20 minutes back to my old house ,where my dad lived. I smashed the back window and crawled into the house.

Nothings changed ,just another abandoned house. No one really knows it empty though so no one has stole anything.

I walked to my 'bed room' and looked if I had left any clothes at all, turns out i'd left a few pairs of shorts and some tops. I put something on and lit up a splif, wrapping myself in my blankets ,smoking. The gas and electric has been cut off, so it's cold. I guess I will shower in the cold ,in the morning.

****

"shit!" I cursed as I looked at the time after I was showered and ready. It's 12o'clock right now, i'm suppose to be im school. I will go in at dinner.

I finished up my make up and started to make my way to the bus stop.

Once at school, I sighned in, made up some bullshit where I was, and went to find everyone. I spotted DeShaun talking to a bunch of people and made my way to the crowd. I heard people rapping, the crowd now makes sense.

"move ,I want to see" I announced and everyone looked at me and moved. "thanks"

They had just finished up and people started to move. I made eye contact with the white boy in the middle, Mr.Eminem.

"where the fuck have you been?" He asked ,hugging me.

"Mom wanted me do something" I lied.

"Bullshit! You never went home, your brother came around this morning. Where have you been?"

"I do have other friends you know!" I shouted.

"Oh fuck off" He huffed and stomped off.

"You, come smoke some weed with me" I huffed pointing to whoever was by me.

"Onit" He replied happily.

We walked outside and lit up a spliff. I saw Marshal walking to the far end of the football field ,but I didn't care.

"So white chick, I know yo names Sophie, mines Brock."

"Well Brock ,may I ask how the fuck you know my name?"

"Ahh girl everyone know yo name. A white chick sticks out from the rest yanno"

"I'm ditching, see yo ass whenever man" I said and ran where ever the fuck I wanted. I couldn't take it. I wanted to be a nice, normal person, who doesn't stick out.