"wicca! stop!" i yelled at him trying to put an ice cube down my back. i turned to him and laughed leaning up giving him a kiss.
"i better get home. my moms been on my ass about getting my school work done." he smiled down to me as i leaned my chin on his chest looking up at him.
"okayyy..." i frowned. he laughed planting his lips on my forehead.
"want me to walk you home?" he pulled on my hands bringing them out to the sides of us.
"nah, i think i'll stay here, adam and lena won't mind." he shrugged and nodded.
"i love you emma" he smiled with his jacket in hand about to go out the door.
"right back at you." i tried laughing it off like i actually did love him. i watched his smile fade as he waved goodbye. i'm hurting this boy so much by making him think i'm really i'm really in love with him.
i slammed my body down on the couch letting out a loud sigh. what the fuck is wrong with me?! i should just tell him the truth... i can't let gus win. if i stay with him long enough eventually i'll develop feelings for him... right?
i guess this is something i should talk out with someone. my right hand women, miya. miya always knows what to do with love, maybe she's and expert.
odd of her? she never turns me down. it's whatever. it's not that important right now anyways. i put down my phone and went into the back room to find something for me to wear to bed.
i heard the store bell ding and figured adam would hear it from upstairs. i got undressed looking through a hamper of clothes lena left out for me since i practically live here. a hand rested on my shoulder startling me. i turned around quickly. i tried covering myself with a shirt i pulled out.
"shh..." he laid his lips on mine. i didn't try pulling away because i actually didn't want it to end. i felt a distance coming between my lips and his.
"come back to me, princess." gus whispered in my ear. his hands roamed to places begging for his touch.
"gus... please." i whispered into his neck.
"i love you." he kissed my neck then my shoulder.
"i lov- wait stop." i took a step back looking at my gus. the gus i loved. the gus i longed for. my gus.
"gustav, why?" i looked at him closely. every little detail i made note of. the freckle on his nose and the one above his eyebrow. the way his nose came out in the middle.
"every time i look at wicca i try to make it seem like it's you. i try to trick myself into thinking he's you. i love you gus. you're my person, my love, my soulmate. we have been together since we were seven. gus i want to be yours. i cant hurt wicca. i'm sorry." i touched his face running my hand from his ear to his cheek. "i'll always be yours."
his arms found their way around my waist "emma please..." his grip tightened.
"stop. don't make me feel like this is my fault." i pushed away putting a shirt over my head. i slipped on a pair of shorts and walked away from gus.
he has no idea how badly i want to say fuck it and run back to him. i just want to be in his bedroom with a blunt. the only thing coming between us would be smoke and passion.
"can we at least watch a movie together?" gus came around the corner into the lounge.
"i guess." i said sitting down throwing the remote to him. he sat down next to me on the L shaped couch. he chose to watch "tiger king" a documentary about joe exotic.
"free joe exotic" i giggled. he laughed and smiled at me. only ten minutes in and his head was laying on my lap. i knew it was wrong but i couldn't help but let him.
as i got interested in the documentary i noticed gus was sobbing in my lap. i pulled his hair back looking down at my broken boy.
"gus wh-" i held his head in my lap.
"just let me cry. please just hold me." he sobbed and lifted his arms around me sobbing into my shoulder.
"i love you." i said letting him cry. he sobbed harder.
after a while he fell asleep. i was tired yet so i decided to school on my phone.
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