Everyone Needs A Hero

Chapter 1 - Moments Lost In Time

Miranda sat there in her car staring at her hands which sat in her lap. She couldn't begin to describe the feeling she felt sitting here about to do what she was about to do.
She could hear it. All of it. The screams. That poor little girls cries. The fire crackling. The building falling. She wasn't there but she could hear it.
"Roll down the window!" She could hear someone yell at her.
Miranda sighed and looked up to face her new reality. Dean Miller was standing in the parking spot next to her. Miller and the rest of them could probably see her sitting there, trying to work up the courage to go inside. To face them. To face the mistakes they made almost a month ago.
Miranda sighed and unlocked the passenger side and Dean slid into the seat next to her. He didn't say anything. Just glanced at the photos covering the clock that she had put up.
-One Month Ago -
Miller sighed as he drank the last of the bottle of water Herrera had given him at some point. He didn't want to drink it but he had been working all night and he eventually gave in to the thirst.
He squeezed the plastic bottle when he was done sighing even heavier. This. He was prepared for this. He knew it never got easier. Only harder. And only reminding him of his own mortality. Would little Pru have been orphaned had it been him tonight ?
"19 " Lucas Ripley's calm voice addressed the quiet table that sat before him.
Dean looked up. He glanced towards Vic who looked just as crushed. They had only just dealt with Pruitt Herrera's sacrificial death. The wounds were still fresh and open. And it hadn't been long since Ripley had almost died himself. Rigo's wounds were also open, almost closed but every now and then they opened painfully again.
"19. I'm sure you're all aware of why I'm here before you. The Pearl Apartment fire has been contained. " Lucas Ripley sighed as he looked at his very best team."Unfortunately we wish we had better news"
Sullivan walked in at that moment carrying the helmet of one of their own. He laid it on the table.
"He was gone by the time we found him." Lucas Ripley announced his voice hoarse and cracked. This had hit him hard too. It was never easy.
"Sir we need you to say it " Maya Bishop trembled quietly. She normally had a loud overzealous voice but tonight had been awful and had quieted her.
"Unfortunately Ben Warren died in the line of duty tonight" Sullivan told his team barely able to get the words out himself. If only he hadn't stolen drugs from the PRT program perhaps Ben would still be here.
"Has anyone called Miranda? " Andy choked out through her tears. Tonight had been way too personal for her.
"I wanted to tell you first " Ripley replied" I'm going to tell her next "
Andy nodded as she wiped the tears from her face.
"Chief I...I think you should suspend me " Dean announced loudly and clearly"I was with Warren and I just... I left him there. In that fire. You...you should suspend me. "
- Present Day -
Dean looked at the woman next to him who didn't look at him. She looked out her window instead. Probably better than facing him.
He hadn't been suspended even though he had begged. Instead Ripley and Sullivan insisted it wasn't his fault. Now he knew how Jack had felt when Rigo died.
He didn't say anything to her. Miranda. Just sat and looked at a picture of Ben and his little girl. Danny. He loved her about as much as Dean loved his little Pru.
"I'm going in."Miranda looked at him" I just need a minute. Because this was the last place I saw him. "
"They're all here for you" Dean informed her " They want to help. "
Miranda nodded. A tear fell down the side of her cheek.
The door to his side of the car opened and Andy leaned in. She reached over with a cup of coffee.
"It's uh black. We weren't sure how you take it " Andy explained to Miranda as she held out the cup.
Miranda took it and nodded. "Uh thank you."
Andy smiled sadly and stood up straight" We don't want to rush you. But Miller uh we just got a call. We need to go. "
Miller nodded as he took in that Andy was wearing her turn outs.
Dean sighed as he got out of Miranda's car. He followed Andy inside with his heart heavy. He wasn't completely there,he hadn't been since that night. The calls he had been on since had blurred together,the people he worked with faded away and sometimes he would look at his friends and see Ben. He hadn't forgiven himself for the events of the Pearl Apartment Fire. He couldn't forgive himself for any of it. His friends faces faded away and Ben took thier place. The people he saved were a blur and Ben took their form as well. He'd saved the idea of Warren plenty since the night the mayday call had played over his radio.
He saw that little girl at every fire. Running out in tears. Sobbing into Dixon's arms who was the only one brave enough to run over and comfort her. Getting shot had changed him.He no longer was the same cowardly rookie who hid from the fires. He was the one who had run in after Ben.
He saw her at every fire,every accident. She was there every single call. The people on the gurneys when he worked aid car faded too. Instead he saw Ben covered with a white sheet dead.
He wasn't there. The calls blurred into each other. He did his job numbly fading into routine. He didn't speak unless absolutely nessescary. He didn't react in any way except the one time he had thrown Jack into the ladder truck after he had tried to check in. Or that time he bodychecked Vic on his way back to bed. She only wanted to hug and comfort him.
At this point nobody talked to him anymore. Nobody wanted to. They were afraid they'd get punched,shoved or pushed if they tried. So they stared. They watched him go through the motions.

Today was the first time he had acted even remotely human. And it was because he had seen Miranda sitting in the parking lot staring at her hands. He had shoved past the others and sat with her in her car in silence until Andy came to pull him away.
They sent Andy because she was the only one willing to approach him. Because Dean had tried to spare her. She was still reeling from her father's death and Warren's only made it worse. He spared her the violence and cruel words he gave everyone else. He didn't want her to hurt anymore.
As for everyone else Dean was mean and cruel. Violent. He said things he wouldn't dare say to his friends the people he loved before. Did things he'd never do. He hadn't wanted to shove Jack into the ladder truck or body check Vic in the hallway. But he had. The same way he had said so many cruel and awful things. He never would have before. He was always kind and he never passed judgement. He loved his friends. But now he wasn't even sure he had them. He had Herrera but only because he hadn't screamed at her for trying to help,hurt her for trying to be there for him or made her walk away because the words he'd just said to her were so cruel he couldn't believe he'd said them.
"That was nice of you to sit with Miranda" Andy tried hesitantly as she drove. Her eyes dull with sadness." I wouldn't have been able to do that "
"I thought it would help "Dean confessed quietly.
"You know Ben did that for me. After the storage unit fire and my dad. I couldn't get out of the car. And I told Robert I was just going to be a minute. Ben saw me and he sat with me until I was ready to walk in. "Andy admitted quietly"And it did. It helped. "
Dean nodded as he stared at the road "I'm sorry I threw Gibson into the ladder truck" He apologized quietly.
"Well you were having a moment" Andy responded sympathetically"He understands. You know we all understand. We've all lost someone. A partner,a loved one. We know the motions and we're here when you're ready."
Dean nodded "Vic I uh bodychecked her. In the hallway a couple weeks ago. I don't think she understands" he confessed.
"It might take her a while to work out how she feels " Andy assured him " But I think in the end she'll come around "
Dean nodded "I've said some pretty horrible things to everyone"
Andy nodded " You have but they'll come around. "
Dean nodded as he watched Andy park the aid car behind the engine. He was glad to be on aid car. He didn't want to be around everyone else, didn't want to follow them into the burning building.
"You could start by apologizing to the people you hurt. " Andy offered as she handed him a first aid bag.
Dean nodded. He would eventually. He'd make an apology tour. Because the last thing he wanted out of all of this was to hurt the people who were only trying to help. Even if he didn't want to hear their suggestions or want what they offered he never wanted or intended to hurt them. And he had. He'd hurt them and that was worse than him being responsible for Ben's death.
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Author's note
So surprise Ripley's still alive. And Miranda never miscarried. I'm going to include more details about what happened to Ben and the little girl in the form of flashbacks throughout this peice. As well as explain the events of the month. Anyway enjoy
George O'Malley's Girl
PS- I promise to update Things We Lost In The Fire once I decide where I want it to go.