and that damn don julio made me a fool for you.
❀
[nate jacobs]
[euphoria hbo]
❀
italicized text is either a narration, flashback, or a thought. the narrator is rue, and not every chapter includes a rue narration.
❀
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
❀ ❀
Soli's mom, Nia, was one of the best people I have ever met. After my dad died, she and Soli came over every day for a month to check on us and to give us whatever we needed. So when she died, we returned the favor. Originally, a 14 year old Soli had blamed her mom's death on herself, because that night, she begged her mom to drive her to a party. She was a freshman, and like most freshmen, she wanted to go to the football team's Christmas party. Her sister, Chanel, had already caught a ride with her friends, leaving Soli to ask her mom to drive her. When they pulled up to the party, Nia kissed her and told her to be safe, but Soli was too busy looking for me and Lexi to respond. About an hour into the party, Soli felt a soft hand on her shoulder. It was Chanel, whose face was tear-streaked. I watched Soli's face turn from happiness to sheer sadness and panic. It was raining heavily, and Nia's car hydroplaned and flipped a couple times, landing in the opposite lane. She died two days later, and I had to watch my best friend spiral into a deep depression. And I wished that I could take her pain away.
[❀ ❀ ❀ ❀]
Soli liked to pretend that December 20th never existed. Of course, she couldn't and will never forget the day her mom passed away. On this day every year, she has a difficult time getting out of bed and because of this, she was grateful she was on Christmas break for school.
Every year since her mom's passing, she couldn't sleep the night before, as the events of that night are fresh in her mind because they continue to play on a continuous loop. No matter how much Rue, Chanel or her dad try and comfort her, she will always blame her mother's death on herself.
As the sun rises and light starts to seep in from her window, Soli lies on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Her phone vibrates next to her, and she turns her head to glance at the caller ID. Of course, the first person to call is Chanel.
"Hi," Soli croaks, and normally, she'd cringe at the sound of her voice, but today, she just can't bring herself to care.
"You okay, sis?" Chanel asks on the other end of the receiver.
Soli intentionally dodges this question. "Well, are you okay?"
"I miss mom. Everyday I do, but today of course, is when I miss her the most."
Here it comes, Soli thinks to herself.
Chanel starts out slowly, as if she's carefully trying to avoid stepping on broken pieces of glass littered all over the floor. "I know you hate when people remind you of this, but you know I have to say it," she pauses, a sigh escaping from her lips. "Mom's death was not your fault, okay? I will forever tell you this until you believe it yourself. You have too, or it will eat you up inside."
