Forcedly Yours [R-18]

Chapter 38

Life is already hard as it is. Pero ang buhay may asawa? It makes life a bit tougher and complicated. Kasi kapag single ka, wala kang iisipin kundi ang sarili mo, kung saan ka sasaya at hindi mo na iisipin kung may maapktuhan ba sa mga magiging desisyon mo.

And while both parties are meant to adjust with the married life, I feel like, it is the woman who has to adjust more. It is the woman who has to give more of herself.

And then I got married. Nawala lahat ng parang bula lahat ng gusto kong gawin. I have to put everything on hold, especially now that I'm pregnant.

I don't regret being pregnant and I don't regret loving Leyton even more. I just wish he didn't have this much power over me. I can't seem to help but give everything to him. Pakiramdam ko nauubos na ako.

I sit on the bed of the hotel room. Kakaligo ko lang at nagsusuklay ng buhok. Matapos ng sinabi ko kay Leyton, umalis siya. He looked shaken but instead of saying something, he left. It's been almost an hour.

I heard a soft beep from the door, indicating his arrival. The smell of the buttered chicken hits me, making my stomach growl in response. Narinig ko ang paglapit niya sa kama.

I watched him put the food on the table in front of the bed. Tumingin siya sa akin at umupo sa tabi ko. Ngayon ko lang napansin ko na hindi siya nagpalit ng damit. He was still wearing his signature office clothes.

"Eat, baby. We can continue talking after," marahang sabi niya at giniya ako patayo.

Hindi na ako umapela. Hindi ako nakapag lunch kaya sobrang gutom ako. Lumapit ako sa mesa at umupo sa harap ng inuupuan niya. We started to eat in silence. Hindi ko mabasa ang ekspresyon niya.
He seemed relaxed.

Nauna siyang matapos kumain, niligpit niya ang pinagkainan niya bago niya ako pinanuod kumain.

"I was worried sick," he said softly as he intently stared at me.

Pinilit kong hindi pansinin ang kirot sa puso ko nang marinig yun sa kanya. I needed to be strong for my baby.

Niligpit ko ang pinagkainan ko at uminom ng tubig bago naglakas-loob na tingnan siya sa mata.

I sighed, gathering all the courage I have. "We need some time apart, Leyton."

He blinked, obviously not expecting me to say that. I, myself, never thought I'd willingly stay away from him.

"What...what did you say?" he asked, sounding breathless and a bit panicked.

Bumuntong-hininga ako bago nagsalita ulit.
"Kailangan natin ng space," sagot ko, as if he can understand me better kapag tinagalog ko.

Nanliit ang mga mata niya at tiningnan ako ng parang hindi siya makapaniwala sa suhestiyon ko. "We need to talk, wife, not space. You're wrong if you think I'll even fucking let you out of my sight. We need each other now more than ever," matatag na sagot niya.

Napayuko ako. Alam kong hindi magiging madali ang pag-uusap na'to. I was thinking again and again when I was in the bathroom kung anong gagawin ko. Kung tama ba ang desisyon ko. But who cares about what's right and wrong. I knew what I needed.

"I need the space, Ley. Kailangan ko ng oras para mag-isip," marahang sabi ko. I don't want to fight with him.

Tumayo siya. He glared at me. "Whatever the fuck for? You're overthinking, is what you're doing," galit na tugon niya.

Ginantihan ko siya ng matalim na tingin. I knew he wouldn't understand. He is always used to getting his way.

But not today, he won't.