Savage Me

Chapter 38: Varoeldur

I stared at the red door in front of me.

I gave Scout the much needed space he asked for this past week. Now, the time was up. I needed to talk to him and properly explain things that I wasn't able to put into words. He had to listen to me. He had to face me.

Or else... I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I let slip the one person who made me feel whole. The person who never once looked at me like I was broken. The person who never once treated me like I was worthless. The person who never once hesitated to save me – even from myself.

I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how much I longed for him. I just wanted to see him smile again, feel his embrace, and hear his voice.

Our relationship was officially out to the crew, I told them everything. Oz, Alfie, and Frisco already knew so I was technically only telling it to Halo and Kurt.

Halo already had a hunch on what was going on from the diner, so she only hugged me the entire time I was telling the story. Her warmth reminded me of Scout, which comforted me big time.

On the other hand, I expected Kurt to lash out and explode – kinda like Alfie did. But he only mildly freaked out. More than anything, he looked grossed out.

Kurt kept pointing at me and yelling, "Contaminated! Contaminated!"

I flung a throw pillow at him to make him shut up, but he easily dodged it and threw the thing back to me, screaming at the top of his lungs, "Get the fuck away from me! You have fucking Golden Boy cooties!"

Yeah, real mature. He'd get over it eventually. Hell, Alfie did.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, then I rang the doorbell and waited. My heart was beating so fast, not knowing what to expect. I hoped Scout wouldn't slam the door to my face. Even if he did, I'd keep on knocking until he talked to me.

When it finally opened, I felt like the air was knocked out of my lungs.

It was Snow.

She looked startled, clearly not expecting me to show up. Her red hair was up in a ponytail and she was wearing a white Sarah Lawrence College sweatshirt and forest green yoga pants. She blinked, and cleared her throat.

"Hi."

"Hi," I managed to choke out, after swallowing the lump in my throat.

I couldn't remember the last time I talked to her, face to face. Back in our senior year, she tried to talk to me quite a few times. I always avoided her, though. When I couldn't, I just ignored her and pretended I didn't hear her.

I could hold a goddamn grudge when I wanted to.

"Is Scout here?" I asked.

She crossed her arms from the cold, and shook her head. "No, he went to Maine with his friends."

Ah, I forgot about the ski trip. I guess I could talk to him when he comes back. I'd let him enjoy his time with his friends.

I nodded to Snow. "Okay, bye."

With that, I turned around to leave.

"No—Wait, Connie!"

I stopped on my tracks, but I didn't face her. I heard her close their front door before running to me and grabbing my arm. But then she immediately let go of me, as if just realizing what she did.

"Um, can we talk?"

I didn't answer. I didn't even look at her.

"Please?" she pleaded.