"Good morning beautiful," I whisper into her hair. She's still naked from hours prior and the breeze creeps in through the window making us retreat under the sheets some more. I kiss the back of her neck softly trying to wake her up and she groans. "Didn't you have enough last night? Or the night before that, or I don't know everyday since we've been here." She teases and I just shake my head slowly as I climb back on top of her. "Never." I answer simply and she smiles into my touch. She giggles down at my morning rose and I smirk. Its going to be a long morning.
"Ok, but mimosas or bloody marys?" She asks and I just stare. Her brown hair looks golden in sun, her skin in bronzed from our many days outside and her cheeks are flushed pink because she caught the way I am looking at her right now. "B, enough!" She giggles and I finally laugh, shaking my head and returning my gaze to the menu. "Mimosas, and I'll have pancakes." I confirm and she scoffs, slapping her menu on table in a joking manner. "You have had pancakes everyday since we've been here and also it's 1pm." I raise a challenging eyebrow at her statement and smirk. "So? It's our honeymoon, I'll order whatever I want." My eyes rake up and down her body. "And eat whatever I want." I lick my lips just to show her how enticing she is and she picks up her menu to hide behind it. "I knew our honeymoon would be very active, but I think I underestimated your stamina." She giggles and I join her. "Oh yes, yes you did."
"I didn't think a video gamer slash skateboarder would have so much endurance." She closes her menu and places her hands in her lap. "Video gamer athlete." I correct and she rolls her eyes. "B..." she sighs and I reach across the table palms up asking for her hands. She places them into mine lightly. Her hands are smaller, thinner and more delicate so I rub them softly and twirl her new wedding band around on her finger. "I love you so much." I smile softly and she smiles back. "I love-" her eyes go blank and she slumps over in her chair unexpectedly. "Sarah. Sarah!" I practically jumped over the table to cradle her limp body in my arms. My heart is beating a mile a minute and I move her hair our of her face. She's breathing but unconscious. "Help, someone call 911!"
4 hours later
"It's Glioblastoma multiforme, it is a fast-growing, aggressive type of tumor that forms on the supportive tissue of the brain. Stage four is-"
My ears are ringing and I can't hear the doctor anymore. I just see her, she is glassy eyed and listening to the doctor intently. I hold her hand and she rubs the back of mine with her thumb. I just stare and watch her, trying to embed everything into my brain about her face, her eyes, her hair, her dimples, her freckles you only notice when you are close up, her beautiful kissable lips. "4-5 months, if you're lucky." My head snaps up. "I'm sorry? What?" I ask and the doctors face is sullen. "Mr. Urie I know this is difficult to take in." I shake my head and go to stand but Sarah grips my hand and keeps me tlat her side in my chair. "Brendon," she tries to smile. "I need a moment with my wife." I inform the doctor, he nods and exits without another word.
"There has to be-" she squeezes my hand lightly and smiles sadly up at me. "Take me home Brendon."
I'm sitting next to Sarah on our couch, my hands folded under my chin supporting my head. Its quiet between us two. Nothing but our breathing and the couch occasionally making a noise when we shift. I go to say something, anything, but I just end up speechless with my mouth open while looking at her precious face. I turn away and look down at my feet, twidling my thumbs and rubbing my bottom lip. She shifts and stands up walking out of the room. I don't stop her, I just watch her leave. She's in a baseball style tee and sweats, no bra, no socks, just completely relaxed and comfortable. I watch her leave and when she disappears I face the spot she once sat and close my eyes. "Well?" She shouts from the bedroom. "Well what?" I ask and she peaks out of the doorway pants less. "Are you going to make love to me?" She asks jokingly but its dripping with sadness. "Sarah," I begin and she holds her palm up. "Brendon, please." She responds and I stand up stripping my clothes as I walk over to her. I am shirtless and working on my pants by the time I get to her. She helps with my pants as I kiss her and we slide into the bedroom for the rest of the night.
Month 1
"Baby, you ok?" I ask Sarah because she is leaning over the sink staring at the dishes. "Here let me help-"
"No it's fine, it's just a headache." She ushers me away and I watch from a distance.
Month 2
"I'm going to make a peanut butter sandwich, do you want one?" She asks from the kitchen. I look at her confused and saddened. "Sarah, you're allergic to peanut butter." I inform her and she looks at the cabinet confused. "Oh, that's right. I must have forgotten." I gulp down the bile that is rising in my throat and walk over to her. "I'll make you a grilled cheese." I rub her arms soothingly and she leaves the room briefly to an unknown location.
Month 3
I wake up and it's pitch black but something woke me. The bed is shaking, not enough to be an earthquake though. My eyes adjust to the darkness and Sarah is shaking and convulsing next to me in bed. "Sarah!" I quickly turn the lamp on and her eyes are rolled back and she's gagging. I don't know how I could think but I roll her on her side and she vomits down the side of the mattress, she stops choking and is breathing again but still seizing. I prop her body with pillows while I grab my phone and dial 911. "911 what's your location?" I give them our apartment address and number and within minutes EMTs are in our apartment tending to her. She stopped seizing and is unconscious as they take her away. I follow in our car.
Month 4
"Brendon, wake up." Sarah shakes me profusely. "Huh? What? What's wrong?" I ask hurriedly sitting up quickly. Sarah petite hand is on my shoulder and she sobs quietly. "Baby, it's ok I'm here." I say and I caress her face leaning mine into her cheek. "I had an accident." She sobs and I'm confused. She shifts and slides up towards the headboard more. I turn the light on and she moves the comforter to show me that she has indeed wet the bed. "It didn't even feel like I had to go." She explains and I shush her. "Shh, shh, shh, it's ok. I'll get it, you go take a shower." She nods and gets up slowly, dragging her feet embarrassingly with her pajama shorts soaked through. I swallow my own tears and clean up the bed. We slept on the couch that night.
Month 5
Sarah has been completely normal besides a couple accidents here and there. She only had 3 seizures in the past month unlike the previous 7 and she said her headaches are virtually gone. That was until she passed out in a supermarket, I should have been with her but work. We are trying to go on with our lives until necessary and honestly save money for certain events. A cashier from giant called me because my number is on her lock screen with her medical condition. I arrive quickly but the ambulance is already taking her away. I follow yet again to the hospital, she's going to be a resident here soon.
"Babe, what are you doing?" I walk in on Sarah sitting in our bed surrounded by papers. "I'm writing." She explains simply. "Writing what?" I ask moving closer and sitting on the edge of the mattress. Her body dips the slightest towards mine. I find her foot and rub it softly. "Letters." I look down at the neatly written envelopes that have been sealed.
Our 1 Year Anniversary
Your 25th birthday
Christmas
Valentine's Day
That Day
My Birthday
To Her
"Baby, no." I choke up and she smiles. "Brendon, don't you dare start. I just got done crying. The letters are to help you get through difficult times. The nurse mentioned it and I was very intrigued. Honestly its helping me too." She explains. I swallow down my tears and look at the letters and back at her. "What's that day?" I ask and she smiles briefly before frowning and looking down. "The day I say goodbye, for good." She admits and my heart clenches. "I can't live without you." I immediately confess and she grabs my face. "Yes, you can. Don't you dare say that." She kisses my lips and I sob. "Brendon." We kiss and I lie her down, to make love to my wife while I can.
Month 6
Sarah has been hospitalized for the past 2 weeks. She is seizing 3 to 4 times a day, has no bowel control and her organs are failing, all of them. She is currently coloring, in her favorite sweats, hair in a bun and is battling with holding the pencil. "God damnit!" She shouts and I have to admit I jumped. She has been extremely cool and collected about her inevitable future up until this point. Honestly, she's been keeping me sane. "This is fucking bullshit you know?" She yells at me and throws the little table from her lap. I stand up and rub her thigh. "I'm sorry." I whisper and she frowns. "I'm sorry," she gasps to breathe. "I'm sorry to put you through this." She whispers and I shake my head. "Forever and always Sarah." I say her name as much I can these days. "I love you," she whispers and drifts off to sleep.
Except she didn't wake up, she passed away 3 hours later. At least the medication made her comfortable.
YOU ARE READING
Together Again / Brendon Urie
FanfictionBrendon Urie can go fuck himself. I'm tired of him being in my life, he causes nothing but problems and I even moved away after graduation. Why is he in Nashville anyway? Or more importantly, why is he my new boss?
