Before The Last Grain

Chapter 5

Grilling meat is the only background sound that fills the steel atmosphere. Steve's step-brother glances down at his Watch then back at Natasha.

She feels Steve's arm wrap around her waist. She can feel his entire body tense up next to her.

James runs his fingers through his hair and clears his throat nervously.

"I'm James," he says as he holds his hand out to her.

Her throat is tight — it's almost painful to breathe. She stares down at his hand, anxious to process this physical contact. Her hand is almost trembling when she lifts it. She shakes his hand loosely, almost fearfully. Steve's gaze is weighing down on this short exchange.

"Natasha."

James keeps a placid expression but an intrigued smile pierces through, betrays him. He still hasn't let go of her hand.

"Bucky," Steve mutters under his breath with hard features.

Her stomach has rapidly twisted and convoluted in vicious knots. And the tension rising only makes it worse.

Sarah steps in with her best made-up smile and pulls James into a hug.

"How are things in Boston?" she asks, trying to ignore the cold stares the two brothers are sharing.

James is the first to surrender and diverts his eyes to his step-mother. "It's lovely to see you, Sarah."

Natasha spins around and retreats toward the table. She presses a weak hand on her raging stomach. It takes effort to breathe in the proper amount of air.

She can hear James chatting with George in the background and the sound of his voice is daunting. A wave of heat surges up and cloaks her completely. Her vision begins to blur slightly. There is a sour taste on her tongue.

"Just excuse me a minute," she breathes out as collectedly as possible and quickly exits the patio, rushing past Steve. She runs across the house to get to the bathroom. She locks the door behind her; her temples are covered in sweat.

She raises the toilet lid and leans over. All her anxiety, concerns, and guilt spur out. She is still throwing up when she hears a knock on the bathroom door.

"Nat, are you alright?" Steve calls from outside.

She flushes the toilet and wipes her mouth with paper. She feels exhausted. Drained out at the prospect of what is to come next. Thinking she could be the fuse that could blow the two brothers — the family— apart is making her sick again.

Steve tries to pull the handle and sighs. "Nat, open the door."

She goes to the door and presses her forehead against the wooden surface. She can almost feel the palm of his hand pressed on the other side.

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The weekend is cut short and so is the barbecue. And the ride back to New York is quiet. Heavy. Her mind is focused on one thing and it makes the journey interminable.

She wants to go home so he takes her to her place. He puts the bags down next at the entrance and falls onto the couch while she rushes to the bedroom. She closes the door and heads to the chest of drawers with shaky hands. She digs her Watch out and flips it over to look at the dial.

Her heart skips a beat. The Watch is on again and the words are glowing brightly.

MATCH FOUND

Hey eyes shut as she takes a deep breath in. She understands the Watch must have reactivated at some point. And as it dawns on her that the initial countdown was set for the day Steve first invited her to meet his family she realizes she was always meant to meet James. And Steve was simply the intermediary. Apparently falling for him is just a mishap along the way. A tear quietly slides down her cheek.