I MEAN IT

chapter 2

Two weeks earlier.

"Hurry up Becca! 911 hurry, Jesus! Why didn't you call me earlier! "

"Call your dad! "

"Pass me the bandage! No, not the bandage goddammit! The breather!.."

"Becky you have to breathe, be strong baby the docs will be here in a few!" My mum tries to shoo Mershy away holding Becky close to her chest. Willy on the other hand screams across the room and my mum looks more confused.

Dazed, I stare at the unmoving body of my sister and dial my dads number for the twelfth time.
why the hell is he not picking the goddamn phone! That sucker is prolly drinking in a whore club staring at their sagging ugly imbalanced tits that he can't hear his phone ring or he's probably ignoring me! Us. My thoughts wander.

My mum lets go of Becky and paces across the room fidgeting her fingers not a sign on her face that she could hear the screams of Willy. I walk closer to Becky and rock her back and call 911 again. The rains must be delaying them or traffic. I tell myself. I rock her hair while tears wash my eyes and regret living far away from town cursing my dad for not picking up his phone and his beaten down fucked car that could have nevertheless done us good at this hour.

"God knows I want to wake Danny and borrow his car Becca" my mum says sobbing ,"this is the first time Becky has been unconscious for more than thirty minutes" her gaze falls on me and immediately I look away not wanting to show her that I was also at the edge of losing hope. I tap on Becky's nose and whisper 'she's going to be alright mum I can still feel her heartbeat.'

In Less than five minutes, I hear the wails of an ambulance and my heart flips in despair. I gesture for my mum to help me lift Becky and meet the docs at the door and without hesitation we carry her and watch the doctors rip her tight clothes off and pump her chest continuously laying her on the wheeled stretcher motioning it towards the ambulance. My mum follows them right in and I watch with my heart in my hands as the door closes and speeds away.
I walk back into the house and rock Willy to sleep and hope for hope. My dad calls and I almost throw up! son of a...I cut the thought. I don't answer and he doesn't call again. such a caring son of a negro.

~~~

"Willy" my mum calls and looks sternly at him but he dumbly stares at her with a mouthful of food. The kind of look that tells that he has been caught off guard and he doesn't know what to do. I almost chuckle at his dumb ass. "Put your napkin on "God in heaven! I actually chuckle. softly. My mum keeps talking to him even though he can't follow instructions yet. We finish our meal and as usual I head to my room.

My room is larger than the room I shared with Becky only emptier. Mostly, she loved to hang her coats and scarfs on nails she drilled into the wall next to the door ignoring the hangers. I never liked the noise especially when she drilled the nails in. It felt like she was drumming my brains out. I yelled for fucks sake stop doing that ten times before she could actually hear me and she would say fuck off before tossing a coat at me and it would end up in pillow fights never actual fights.
Right now my room doesn't have holes dug next to the door but I do miss the disturbing loud hammering noise she always made. Snapping out of the thoughts, I watch my punching bag admirably, just how strong it must be to take in all those punches and take more and more and still stay strong without fighting back..."it doesn't hurt does it? " I ask rhetorically and lay back in bed facing the ceiling. In few minutes of my oblivion, my mum walks in and I get a little nervous .

"I fixed the pages of your book." She says handing it to me. "I'm sorry I should have been gentle with my words. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that just because I was overwhelmed with work, can we talk about it now? I just tucked in Willy"

"Yeah sure"

"I know you miss her and that's why you've changed honey. You rarely talk and your rage is out of control."
I breathe heavily like one who's been holding breath in and look away from her, softly hurting because she is also hurting but is taking the time to comfort me.

"Mum? we will get through this. I'm starting school on Monday." I pick at my nose. "Its a start. I'll make new friends."

"And a boyfriend." she adds and we both chuckle.

Best thing about my mum is her smile. Sometimes her smile is a flower that blooms and fades before the eye can blink again and other times It's like a window that opens and let's the rest of the world peek in. I always find myself smiling back even though my smiles are like bent old wires in a rusty kettle. I need to work on straightening and polishing them.

"Tuck tight! Don't over-read tonight. spare your eyes!" She walks out and slams the door open again. "Also don't lock the door in case I sleep walk right in."

I just can't believe she's thirty three. ha! But of course she is a mature joker! She gave birth to us late. She should have had me at the age of 10 because she's so kind and warm and loving. But at ten she hadn't started her periods so, glad am here anyway. 

*
"I'll whoop your ass if you don't pass me that hammer seriously. Come on Becca I'm starting to get pins and needles on my arm..."

"Fuck off Becky ! I'm busy."

"What a nerd! "

"Call me nerd again and I'll toss this rusty hammer right through your eye weirdo!"

"Pass me the hammer babe"

"Don't babe me"

"Okay sugar, pass me the hammer" she begs and I toss the hammer and crush her head right through her left eye. Blood gushes and colors the wall red then she laughs and I join in only to watch her trip on the nails she had and I scream at the top of my lungs. My mum comes rushing in and calls my name.

"Honey? Becca? "

I move restlessly all over my bed.

"I'm here. Come here."

"It's real? You're here? It's not a dream?"

She hugs me into her arms and rocks my back while I try to look at my door in case I see spots of blood or a hammer or Becky or nails.

" It's real, I'm here honey."

She assures me and seeing none, I burry my head squeezing deep into her arms holding her tight.

"It's just another bad dream." she keeps rocking me gently and I fall asleep again only this time next to her.

Street 13, Cornerbay.

"Dumb as shit! You don't know nothing about slyvia plath." A blonde boy in bright yellow tee says to another blonde boy holding a ball.
Yellow is a happy color according to me and it does suit how jolly he looks unlike the one holding the ball. He is two feet shorter than "yellow boy" and looks quite collected.

" So whatchu know Steny? Huh? You her cousin or something?"

Woah boy! What a comeback! I think sitting a short distance from them. I am so intrigued by the fact that they are talking about my idol that wish to join in but I don't want to be a third wheeler.

"She got married after dating for 3 months to Ted Hughes bro! How long you been with yo' shawty and haven't slipped a finger under- and "yellowboy" receives a blow before finishing his sneaky talk.
I expect them to fight but they break into a contagious laughter holding their stomachs I sorta feel left out even though I wasn't taking part in their interesting conversation. I don't know them anyway. So why bother.

"Had my tongue all over her you shit,but She all sweaty and yikes!"

And that's how it takes me a few minutes to learn their names. So, Jackie is dating Steny - the yellowboy and she is a hornbill and Enid,(the other boy) is dating Dana who is sweaty and stinks?
Ridiculous!
Why don't boys appreciate their girls anyways and is this town full this kind of boys?

And a boyfriend? I question what my mum said last night and my body yikes.

Hey guys,
Wadou'tink? Please rate and follow. I'll try to make my chapters longer.📜and more captivating.lol