Firsts

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

That's when the thought struck me. A week after the incident, Trent and I had talked, but I had not told him much. I didn't want to worry him or anything. Today, I thought I could just take online college! I don't have to do it here. I have no friends, so there is no point in me staying here at all. I don't have to do this. It's not worth it. I thought that I would have friends by now. It's almost Christmas break anyways. I can just transfer to an online college for the second semester. I sigh as all these thoughts come colliding into my brain. The reason why I wanted to go to college in person is because I wanted to learn how to interact with people normally and not like a human that's never left her house.

I then arrive at my class, which I have been walking to. Trent begins signing. "Nia, how do you feel about hanging out with Kim? I mean, her and her friends. She is a little closer to you in age..."

I smile softly at Trent and say, "I would love to." He smiles widely.

"Good. How do you feel about going shopping with her? Then you could go to lunch. She asked me to ask you about it. She also wants me to give you her number. She actually asked me for yours, but I felt I should give you a warning. I will just give you hers."

I smile even wider at my brother's excitement. He gives me her number. I send a text to her.

'Hey this is Nia. Trent gave me your number.'

I put my phone away. I had just finished off the rest of my lunch. "Alright, Trent. I'm excited about that. I've got to go now. See you later."

I wave and stand up. He does too. Trent takes me by surprise and embraces me in a bear hug. I let out a squeal in surprise. I smile and hug back.

"Bye. Nia. See ya." With that we part ways.

I haven't told Trent about my...thought. I don't want to tell him about it unless I'm sure. Trent and I have always been really close even when I was home and he was here. I still feel a little removed. As a matter of fact, I feel a little removed from everyone. I never think about this. The fact that I'm deaf does have an effect on how people look at me, how I look at people, and how I act most importantly. Trent can't exactly relate to these things. Another thing I have never really come to terms with is the fact that I'm very sheltered from everything. I feel homesick consistently. Whenever I think of my mom and my home I feel tears threatening to spill down my cheeks.

I arrive at my dorm room. I grab my phone and video chat with my mom. She answers almost right away.

"Mom?" She has her phone propped up so she can sign to me.

"Hunny! It's been a while since I've heard from you." I'd sort of been avoiding talking to her due to my discouraged state of mind. "How are you? How are your classes?"

"Great, mom."

"You are much better at talking now. We miss you. Jim! JIM! Nia's on the phone!"

"I miss you guys a lot too."

"Oh, here's your dad." My dad comes to the phone.

"Nia! How are you? We miss you sweetie."

"I'm good! I miss you guys too! How have you guys been?"

We spend some time catching up. When we finish the call, I feel something burning down on me: homesickness. My stomach hurts. I rush to the toilet and throw up. I sit on the floor of the bathroom and cry my heart out. I miss home so much.

My eyes snap open. I find myself still on the bathroom floor. I sit up, take a fast shower, and get changed, checking the time. I had just the right amount of time to make it to my next class. I rush there and make it right on time.

The day is almost over, and I find myself at the beach sitting on the bench. I've found myself here a lot lately. I sigh as I do my schoolwork. My stomach isn't feeling any better. I still feel homesick in the pit of my stomach. After I finish all the school work I had to do today, I get up and go to my dorm room while eating apples and peanut butter. It was all I could eat with my upset stomach. After I finish my snack, I think back on my thoughts of online college. There are a lot of pros and a lot of cons.

Today is the day Kim and I agreed to hang out. I feel excited and happy today. We decided to meet up for lunch and go shopping a different time. I make it to the designated lunch spot on time and order my lunch. I look around for her, hoping she's already here. She's nowhere in sight. My food comes, and I go to my seat to wait for her. About twenty minutes later, she rushes in. She spots me, and her face lights up. She orders her food and comes over to me.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I was going to be perfectly on time, but my roommate held me up." She says this while rolling her eyes. "Anyways, I'm so glad you could come. Go ahead and eat."

I unroll my sandwich. I then look up at her and say, "It's fine that you're late. I'm glad we could meet up as well. How is everything?"

She smiles widely at this. "It's been great. How about you?"

"Good."

Her food arrives. There is a slight awkwardness that settles over us. Finally, I look up and break the silence.

"How are you and Trent?" She gapes at me.

"Oh, uh, well, I think we're good. I'm not going to assume anything. I mean, I know this is weird to say. Can you not tell Trent I said this?"

"I won't tell."

"Okay, I...well, I think I'm in love with him. Really. I know we've only been dating for a few months, which is why I haven't told him yet. I really love him...I don't know why I'm telling you. Maybe because you know him well and..."

I see small tears threatening to come from her eyes.

"I'm not going to speak for Trent. But I know at least that he likes you. He is dating you. I'm glad that Trent found someone. I think...well, I don't know much about these types of things. I think you should tell him."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, I want you guys to get married. Then I can have another sister."

She grins at me.

"I would love to have you as a sister. Especially since...I don't have any sisters." There is a pause as I think about this. Does she have any siblings?

"You don't? How many siblings do you have?"

"None."

"Oh. What's it like to have no siblings?"

"Well, some people say having no siblings is great. They are lying. It's lonely. That's why I want lots of kids. That's also something Trent agrees with me on. I love kids so much. This is why I'm also going to be a teacher."

"I kind of know the feeling." She looks a little confused.

"Which feeling?"

"Well, loneliness. When I was a kid, all my other siblings went to highschool. My mom was a stay-at-home mom because of me. She never let me leave the house long, except for Mass and to sometimes go on 'playdates'." I feel a bit flustered after telling her that much about myself.

"I never knew you were homeschooled. We have that in common. We also both love Trent." I smile at her.

"Yeah. I hope that you guys get married and have a bunch of kids like you dream to." She smiles at this.

"Yeah, me too."

We finish lunch shortly after and go our separate ways. I feel happy for Trent.