Firsts

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

I look at him. This is a lot to take in. I take a deep breath. My brain is racing. He had tried to...kill me? Three times? Not only that, but he was doing it only because he felt like it, and he hurt all those people. I look back at Sebastian, realizing I had looked away. He looks scared. I decide I need to say something because I've been silent for a while.

"Well, uh, that's a lot to take in." I say this slowly. I look at his eyes. "Sebastian, I stand with what I said before. I still want to talk to you and everything. I'm just shocked. I mean, I can't believe that if I wasn't deaf...I would be dead right now. You would have killed me. It's shocking." There is another pause.

"I know, I-I'm really sorry about everything. I think I was going crazy. I'm never going to try to kill anyone again." I look into his eyes, and I know he means everything he is saying.

"Sebastian, I'm glad you told me, and I think that maybe you should take me home now just to think things over. We can meet up again tomorrow. Does that sound good?" I need a moment to myself so I can come to terms with all of this. He looks defeated.

"Yes, it does."

"Good. Tomorrow's Sunday, so why don't you come to Mass with me again... I mean take me to Mass, and we can talk after."

"Alright."

We walk in silence to his car, and my thoughts are racing. When we get to my dorm, I feel strange, and we haven't really said a word. All I can think about is that he tried to kill me three times. My hands are shaky, but when we get to my place, I look at him. He wouldn't kill me. I force a smile. I bend over and kiss his cheek. I look at him waiting. He sort of smiles and rushes out of the car to my side to open the door for me. As I walk away, I give him one last wave and go to my room. I get ready for bed and lay in my bed. I'm going to think this through. I met Sebastian almost a year ago, so it's been a long time since it happened...at least there's that. His past with his family seems sketchy, but it doesn't involve me. He couldn't mention it yet. He hasn't killed anyone, and all he did was hurt those people. This was wrong, but forgivable. Everything he's done is forgivable, at least to me. After I sift through all of this, I realize that it's been at least an hour. I think of the very last thing he said to me: 'I think I'm in love with you now'. That shocks me. I had practically blocked out that part of his speech, probably because he had tried to kill me three times. He loves me. How do I feel about that? I sigh, finding myself drifting into a sweet slumber.

The next day, I get ready for Mass and wait for Sebastian. I think I had thought through everything he had said pretty well, at least well enough to talk it over some more with him. I smile when I see his car. I walk to it and sit down. The car ride to Mass is quiet. I don't want to bring anything up before Mass. I want to pray about it all and ask God for help with all of this.

After Mass, Trent and Kim greet us, but we don't stay long. We get into the car.

"Sebastian, let's go to the breakfast place." He nods his head instead of saying anything. When we arrive, we are quiet until we order.

"Sebastian?" His eyes snap over to me.

"Yeah?"

"I forgive you." His eyes widen. Suddenly, he stands up, and I do too. He wraps me into a hug, a tight hug. I hug him back. We stand like this for a while until Sebastian lets go and we sit back down. His eyes are sort of wet from unshed tears.

"I can't believe you do. I-"

"I do. Don't worry about it anymore, Sebastian. I think you're a little different now. I don't believe you would hurt me anymore or that you would willingly kill anyone anymore." I smile.

"I won't. I don't think I can. I got rid of all the frequencies. I even ended sending them out to anyone, so people can't use them anymore."

"That's good, Sebastian. I'm glad. None of this changes how I see you or anything. I mean, you were just unwell. What you did was terrible, but you didn't do anything that I won't forgive you for as long as you're sorry and won't do any of it again."

"Yes. I am, and I won't." A small smile meets my lips. There is a pause, and he breaks it.

"I know that with everything that's going on, this is going to be sort of out there again. Last night I said I love you, and I meant it. I don't think I should have told you at that moment, but I felt like I needed to. I love you." My eyes widen. I didn't expect him to say it again.

"I...well, I'll tell you the truth. I probably love you too, but I don't know for sure. When everything with me is in check I'll get back to ya, okay?" I blush deeply at my embarrassing answer, practically face palming. Why can't I say something remotely smooth?

"I understand." Our food then arrives, and the rest of our brunch is spent talking about light things.

I plop on my bed yet again, this time to do a boat load of school work. The school has been weighing down on me, but I still have time to hang out with Sebastian. After I do my schoolwork, I'm planning to hang out with Sebastian and some of his friends. I feel my phone buzz, and I hop up and rush to his car. I've been contemplating the fact he loves me. It's been a week since the whole thing. It's Friday today, and I just don't know. I've worn out the thought of it. Tonight I'm just going to meet his friends and what not. I smile when I slide into the car next to him. While I buckle my seatbelt, he lightly kisses my cheek, causing a smile to shine on my face.

"Hey. I'm excited to meet your friends." I look at him, and there's already a smile on his face. Ever since he's told me about it all, he's been happier. He didn't expect me to be so forgiving. How could I not be?

"Yeah, they're all excited to meet you." We drive, talking pleasantries and what not. When we get to our destination, we walk side-by-side. Nobody really notices us at first. Sebastian walks up to someone about our age. When he sees Sebastian, his eyes light up, he smiles, and he shakes Sebastian's hand.

"Heyy man. What's up?" I almost laugh, but I have no idea why.

"Hello." Why do I find this amusing?

"Who's this?" Sebastian looks at me.

"This is Nia. Nia, this is Vincent." Vincent shakes my hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you as well." I smile.

Sebastian then introduces me to all sorts of other people. I don't care to remember all of their names. When we get in the car, I'm happy. I look at Sebastian.

"Your friends are great! I'm so happy to have been able to meet them!"

"I'm glad you liked them." I smile.

"So, Nia...do you want to go on another fancy date with me on Wednesday?"

"Yes, that sounds exciting! Maybe this time I'll curl my hair. I've never curled my hair before." He smiles.

"You do whatever you want to do. You'll look beautiful no matter what." I smile at his sweet words, also blushing slightly.

"Thank you."

When we arrive back at my dorm, I go to bed almost instantly. Wednesday isn't until next week. I wonder why he wanted to make the date so far in advance.