Demons & Dynasty

Chapter 18

A/N - I'm in a lil bit of an emotional rut at the moment so I'll try and update often as I can but they may be a lil bit slow. Screw corona 🖕
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Your POV
I opened my eyes to my little haven. I must've fallen asleep - my book was open my lap and the room was undisturbed. I pulled out my DDD, yawning, and checked the time, 6:15. I had missed messages from all the brothers apart from Satan, he must've not missed me; maybe leaving was the right thing to do. I gathered my things, tidied the room and snuck out of my haven. Today was going to be a day of sorting my life out - I needed to clear the air with Asmodeus and explain my predicament to Satan and Lucifer. They needed to understand what was going through my mind, and I wanted to spend more time with both of them in order to help me make my mind up - I needed to know them both better as people.

Satan POV (flicked back to the previous night!)
It had been 4 hours since Y/N had left. I was sitting on her bed, reading a book. I'd already tidied her room so she'd be happy when she came back. I had no clue what I'd done - I thought I was making her happy, but I must have messed up at some point for her to not have come back yet. All I wanted to do was make it up to her, find out where I went wrong and fix it, but I'm afraid she wouldn't let me in. She doesn't understand how much she means to me, how much my heart longs for her, how much I love her.

Your POV (back to the next morning)
I made my way to my room and could hear a soft noise through the door that sounded like snoring. I gently pushed open the door, as to not disturb whoever was asleep in my room. My eyes immediately fell to my bed where Satan was curled up in a fetal position on top of my duvet. He looked so peaceful, a book open on the other side of the bed. I inched closer toward the bed, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards and noticed how tidy my room was - he must have cleaned once I was gone, for the avatar of wrath he was a big softie. I reached the bed and lifted the book, careful to not lose the page, and placed it on my cabinet before slowly getting onto the bed, moving closer to Satan so I was comfortably in his arms. He stirred, his eyes slowly opening.
"Y-Y/N you're back!" His voice was groggy with sleep, "where did you go? Y/N I'm so sorry for last night, please tell me where I went wrong..." He sat up too quickly for someone who had just woken up, clutching his head.
"Satan! Oh my goodness slow down!" I jumped a bit, resting my hand on his upper stomach and pushing him lightly so he laid back down again. "Look I'm really sorry, there's lots of things going on right now, please would you let me explain?"
He nodded at me, sinking comfortably back into my pillows.
"Look, Satan, um I don't really know where to begin. Yesterday I think, yesterday was so amazing, I really did love it, but I guess there's just so much going on in my head, especially with the marriage and everything I have to learn. I'm just confused I guess. I- uh I slept with Asmodeus the other night, but I realise now that I don't love him and I feel so terrible for using him like that. It breaks my heart to know what I did and I can't do the same to you, not when I think I feel the way I do..." tears began to well up in my eyes, I couldn't make eye contact with Satan so I just stared at my hands. "So I left yesterday. I didn't leave the house I just went somewhere secret and safe to me where I could cool down and figure some things out. I think I know what I want now and what I want to do." I looked up at Satan, a few stray tears running down my cheeks.
"Oh Y/N..." he pulled me down into a hug, soothing my hair. "It's okay. Please don't worry. We've told you before that we all understand, but I also understand that you might not be comfortable with it. I'm not going to pressure you into anything, I love you, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy and comfortable."

*time skoopydoopy*

I had explained to Satan my plan - about how I needed to apologise to Asmodeus before I went any further with any of them, and about how I wanted to spend more time getting to know him and Lucifer although I needed a bit of a break from all of it first. Satan had left my room shortly after, popping in only to bring me some lunch. I sat down at my desk and began to write a letter to Asmodeus, I had never been good at voicing my feelings but writing was one of my strong suits.

Dear Asmodeus,
I am writing to you as an apology; an apology for the other night and for toying with your heart. I know you told me you'd always fight for me, and I will never forget everything you've done for me and you will never not be appreciated, but Asmodeus, I can't continue to use you and play with your heart like this when your heart does not truly belong to me. My heart lies elsewhere Asmodeus and it belongs to someone else. I cannot put into words how sorry I am for using you, not that I didn't love the other night, but it was wrong of me to lead you on when deep down I knew you weren't the one. Feel free to hate me, I can't love myself at the moment either. You will always have a place in my heart alongside your brothers, know that you still mean so much to me. I'm sorry for the hurt I am causing you,
~Y/N

I sealed the letter in an envelope with a stamp and slipped it under Asmo's door, hoping that he wouldn't hate me, he still means so much, but I know now that my heart belongs to another.