Through My Eyes

Chapter Nine

I stand in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. Taking a wet cloth, I wipe my face clean of all the powders and make-up equipment that strange woman had applied on me today. I look down at the ring on my finger; it looks strange, alien to me. I rip it off and bang it against the cabinet. Frustration grips me and I fight the urge to collapse on the floor and sob. Damon, my love, he wants nothing to do with me.

Removing all the pins from my hair, I let it drop loose, gently massaging my scalp and return to my bedroom so Mary can help me change.

As she loosens my corset, Mary tries to spark a conversation, "So, how did you find the engagement?"

"It was... okay." I reply monotonously.

Mary sighs and helps into my night-dress before saying, "You miss him a lot, don't you?"

I inhale deeply, forcing the tears back, "Mary, please. I don't want to talk about him. I have to let go. Mother says a good wife is a committed wife, so I have to commit myself to Emmanuel without any distractions."

"Why are you sacrificing so much for her?"

"Because I'm the only family she has. Peter... poor Peter. An illegitimate child of one night of adultery. He's my step-brother, yet my mother treats him as a work-slave. He is so happy without even having anything. He thinks he's lucky!" I exclaim loudly, putting my head in my hands, "Peter deserves so much more than this."

"When did this become about Peter? We're talking about you!" Mary chides me softly, "You need to start thinking about yourself."

"I do." I say and then turn away from her, "I'm tired. I need to sleep."

"Very well, Miss Eloise. I shall stay here until you fall asleep."

"Thank you." I say, snuggling down beneath the covers, closing my eyes against the throbbing pain that has become my heart.

***

"I have consulted to Mother after a lot of deliberation about your sudden and prolonged tantrums."

"Tantrums?" I glare at Emmanuel.

"Yes, tantrums. You can be so childish sometimes. Mother and I have decided that if you can't keep with our family's standards, we're going to have to take action."

"What kind of action?" I scoff.

"Punishment." Emmanuel says matter-of-factly.

I stare at him, my eyes wide, "Excuse me? Did you just say that you and your mother want to team together and punish me?"

"I think I did." Emmanuel nods.

"Okay, this conversation is over." I say, rising to my feet steadily, "I am not sitting here and listening to your utter filth. You are so despicable, I have decided I am not going to allow you to be in my company for at least the rest of the day."

Emmanuel stares at me in disbelief and then gathers his puny courage, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. You talk like a child that has just had it's caviar thrown away!"

"How dare you?" I hiss, "I suggest you do not talk to me any more, Emmanuel."

I stalk away indignantly, into the parlour.

Lady Elizabeth and Mother are bonding over a cup of tea. Almost immediately, Lady Elizabeth's eyes are immediately guided to my engagement finger, which rests empty and unburdened, "Eloise! Where in the world is your engagement ring?"

I feign ignorance, "Whatever do you - Oh! Where is it? I am sure I put it on this morning." To be honest, I did not put it on this morning. I distinctly remember eyeing it with unconcealed disgust and then turning my back on it in the restroom.