Through My Eyes

Chapter Sixteen

Everybody eats heartily. Everybody but me.

I can barely swallow a single morsel, what with Damon ironically being the one to serve Emmanuel and I our food. It seems like hours until the wedding banquet is finally over and night begins to descend upon the garden, the trees throwing out elongating shadows like fishing rods reaching to grab us as though the grass is the ocean and we are the helpless fish. 

I sit back in my chair, smiling as much as I can as the final guests filter out from my home. 

Emmanuel turns to look at me, "Are you tired, Eloise?"

I nod silently, refusing to meet his gaze, knowing that there, I will find triumph and taunting.

I would rather not face that right now.

"Why don't you go on up to the bedroom? I shall be there in a while. I'll call Mary to escort you up there." Emmanuel says, beckoning to Mary with a wave of his hand as though she is nothing more than a guide.

"Emmanuel, please!!" I snap angrily, "Mary is my nurse. Treat her with some respect, she's like a second mother to me."

"Second mother or not, she is still a servant." Emmanuel replies, daring me to argue back. 

I hold his gaze for a second and then as Mary approaches, choose to look at her graceful face instead.

"Eloise is..." Emmanuel begins but I quickly cut in.

"I am feeling a little run down. Will you accompany me to Emmanuel's room?"

"Our room." Emmanuel corrects.

I sigh, rolling my eyes and look to Mary for an answer.

"Of course, Miss Eloise."

"Um, it's Mrs Colleton, Mary. She's married now." Emmanuel reminds her.

Fuming, I retort, "Mary can call me whatever she wants. Whether that is Eloise or Mrs Colleton. You... do not... order her around."

"Go to our room, Eloise." Emmanuel mutters with a steely gaze to match mine.

I stand up, my stomach lightened by the prospect of annoying Emmanuel. Even if it was just a little, knowing that I am not going to make this relationship easy for him gives me a sense of immense satisfaction. I remind myself to tuck this little nugget of information away for future reference. If I can spoil his mood by provoking him just a little, then I will do everything in my power to make sure he can feel even a drop of all the twisting, dark emotions that he has made me feel these past five weeks. 

Mary smiles at me, "Come, Miss Eloise."

I walk alongside her and ask under my breath, making sure no one is eavesdropping on us, "Will you be able to take me to Damon?"

"I have locked him in Emmanuel's room. You get to see him for one last time before you and your husband retire for the night." Mary relays effortlessly, her gaze firmly on the ground. 

My heart lifts and I walk a little faster, eager to get to Emmanuel's quarters. If I can see him one last time, maybe everything will not seem as though the end of the world is coming. I just need his arms around me and then I can face the world. Just a little bit of confidence and reassurance, maybe then I will be ready to face the monster that is Emmanuel. 

How can two men, from the same species, be so different? I ask myself as we walk.

Damon is the sun, while Emmanuel is the raincloud that drives it away. Damon is laughter ringing in your ears, while Emmanuel is the shattering scream that pierces your sleep. Damon is one end of the spectrum and Emmanuel isn't even on the spectrum. How do I compare my angel Damon to that devil? He is dark, twisted, evil. He is no match for my love. He never will be.