Through My Eyes

Chapter Seventeen

DAMON'S POV - ONE TIME ONLY

I tie Chastity to the hook on the stable wall, who complies quietly. Even she can sense my darkened mood. I pat her neck reassuringly once before turning to Peter.

He looks at me, his eyes bright with emotion. "Why are you letting her go?"

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I have to. For now, I have to."

Peter nods as though he understands. He pats my shoulder and leaves the stable without another word. Chastity snorts sadly, as though she knows she doesn't have much time left with Eloise, just like me.

I walk over to her, stroking her nose, "We're both getting left behind, huh?"

Chastity nudges me gently in response.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head. I'll make sure both of us see her soon." I close my eyes against the blinding pain in my chest and rest my head against Chastity's long nose, my hands stroking her soft face.

Chastity waits a moment before sharply pushing me away and snorting indignantly.

"You're right." I nod. "I should really pull myself together. For her, right?"

Chastity nods her head in a 'yes'. She's always been such a clever girl.

I pat her once more before sticking my hands in my pockets and leaving the stables. When I get to the house, everyone is preparing for Eloise's imminent departure.

I wonder how last night went. If she was able to save herself... or not. My heart twists, almost choking me and I refuse to think the thoughts. Thankfully, Lady Elizabeth calls me over to the parlour.

"Yes, my Lady?" I ask politely, my eyes downcast.

"Damon, I need you to take this trunk out into the front garden. The coachman will put them into the coaches." Her tone is cold; she knows I'm the reason that her son had to go through so much in order to get married.

I do not regret a single action. Why should I? I belong to Eloise. I am hers and I will do what she wants, no matter what anyone else wants.

"Of course." I say, bending down and wrapping my arms around the hefty trunk. I adjust it as I stand up so I can see while walking. I remember the last time I was carrying a trunk and Eloise caught me. It seems like an eternity ago. I cannot believe it was just little more than two weeks ago. Now, she's married to somebody I hate. She's leaving me, for a long time.

I stumble over the threshold of the house and wobble over to the coach, letting the trunk drop roughly on the ground, standing up and rubbing the stiff spot in the small of my back.

I turn around, my eyes snag on to the balcony of Emmanuel's room. A door opens and my love walks out, dressed in a light pink dress. She smiles gently to herself, as though amused at something. I can't help but to smile at the sight of that smile. It has become too rare these past weeks. She stares out into the sun and the sun wraps itself up in her, tumbling into her beautiful locks of hair and latching onto her porcelain skin, its rays holding on to her dress. I only wish I could be as lucky as the sun, to see myself reflected in her.

Once more the door opens and Emmanuel walks out. Immediately, my fists clench at my side. Eloise's beautiful face loses its glow as she turns to face him. He says something and I can almost feel her roll her eyes when all Eloise does is gesture with her hand for him to go away. Then I almost growl when he grabs that same hand and pulls him toward her. I step forward, as though I expect myself to fly up there. But my frown is replaced with a smirk of pride when she grabs him by the collar and drags him toward the balcony railing, pointing down at the ground.

I can almost hear her say, "Do you want to end up there?!" Almost.

I chuckle to myself and shake my head, walking back into the house. Eloise knows how to look after herself, from what I've just seen. I can't help the smile creeping on to my face and help Peter shift the rest of the trunks into the garden, to the red-faced and worn out coachman. I hope he gets his stamina back soon, he is going to be leading those horses quite a way.

All the way to Stonegate.

When we're done with the trunks, Lady Elizabeth instructs her maid - who showed up out of nowhere last night - to go and call Eloise down. They're ready to go. As the maid disappears up the long flight of stairs, my eyes meet Mary's.

I give her a questioning look, asking for permission to say goodbye, and she shakes her head firmly at me, purposefully glancing at Duchess Adeline. My shoulders deflate and I turn, walking to the servants' quarters and locking myself in my room.

I can't watch her go. I just can't. It would break me, possibly even more than I have broken already. At least now I can salvage some of myself. If I see her back receding into the horizon, I couldn't even do that. She means too much to me for me to able to see her go. Even though I know we'll be together soon, seeing that monster's arms around her will kill me.

I pretend to be strong around her, so she has the courage to go on. Without someone to support her, I do not want to know what she would have done to herself. Eloise may be strong on the outside, but I know how much the outcome of this has shaken her up. We've never been away from each other for more than twenty-four hours, not since the day we met. And now she's going to be away from me for an undeterminable amount of time. I do not know how long this body of mine will be able to last without her touch, how long this desert can survive without water, how long this fire can burn without wood, how long this heart will be able to beat without blood.

I put my hands in my head and feel tears run down my face. I look up at the ceiling with a deep defeat weighing me down, binding me down to the ground when all I want to do is float up to her. It hurts me to even think of her. I cannot believe that the younger me used to hate her once. I smile at the bitter-sweet memory.

I was eight years old. My mother was still alive, she used to be Duchess Adeline's maid. I saw Eloise as the spoilt rich girl whose mother let her do anything and everything. Little did I know, she was slapped an awful amount of times for her 'unlady-like' actions.

Eloise was always the girl with everything; she had the money, a loving family, a big house and all the clothes she could choose from. I thought she was a brat and that she thought she was superior to me because of her money.

But the truth was, she was afraid of me because I showed such open hostility towards her.

That changed soon after our joint prank on one of Duchess Adeline's friends and we learnt we both were more similar than we had actually thought. We became friends and too many years later, we fell in love.

The only thing I regret is not realising my feelings earlier. We could have more time together, we could have explored each other more, we could have turned each other inside out for as long as we wanted. If only Emmanuel didn't come along and snatch my love before she could even rest in my arms. A pulse beats under my temple and I massage it gently.

Here I go again - driving myself crazy to the point of headaches. I have been doing that a lot lately.

There is a gentle knock on my door and I stride across my room in seven even steps.

Seven. That's Eloise's favourite number. She says that it's her favourite number because that was how old she was when we became friends.

I shake my head and open the door to Mary's concerned face.

She stares at me and says slowly, "She's gone."

I look behind Mary's head, almost expecting her to jump out with that maniac grin on her face. But she doesn't - because she's gone. A low groan escapes my parted mouth. I wish I hadn't listened to Mary, to my rational head. I wish I could have said goodbye to her.

I love you, Eloise. I love you.