Through My Eyes

Chapter Four

RECAP: 

"Well, I see I cannot get you to see it from my point of view." Emmanuel states, looking away from me into the distance.

"No. You cannot." I say, untying Chastity, hopping on to her and galloping off, leaving Emmanuel to stare at me in disbelief. Mary walks after me, looking back at Emmanuel, chewing her lip nervously...

Mary has just pinned my shawl back on me, my hair already fastened into a loose bun at the nape of my neck when Mother storms into my room, her face crimson with rage. She grabs my forearms in a vice-like grip, bruises flowering at her touch, “Why did you leave Emmanuel in the gardens alone?”

I look up at her, “Mother, there is nothing wrong with letting him have some peace!”

“He wanted to talk to you, Eloise! I cannot believe you would argue with him on his first night here.” 

I free myself from Mother's grip, walking over to the bed and leaning against the post. “Mother, leave it alone.”

“No, I shall not!” Mother hisses, “How dare you try to ruin this? Do you know what happens to a girl whose engagement has been broken?!”

“Mother!” I turn to face her, “Yes, I do. Do you want to know what happened last night? Well, listen. He was unhappy with the fact that I am Damon's friend. He had the audacity to call Damon a 'mere servant boy'. I'm not going to tolerate that, Mother, not from anyone.”

“You silly girl!” Mother grabs both of my arms, forcing me to stare up into her clear eyes, “You have to stop recklessly protecting everyone you love! No matter what he said, a lady – a true lady – never raises her voice upon a man. Especially if she is going to be married to that same  man.”

“Mother, why do you only see my mistakes?” I ask of the woman who birthed me seventeen years ago, only to rear me so she could bundle me off at this moment, “Why can you not see what Emmanuel did?”

“Emmanuel?! Emmanuel?! How can you address him so informally? It is most disrespectful of a woman to do that, Eloise. Have you forgotten everything I taught you? The values, the rules, the requirements of society? What has gotten into you, Eloise?”

“Nothing has gotten into me, Mother. In fact, I cannot think of one reason that you had to betroth me to that man.”

“That man is going to be your husband, Eloise!” Mother snaps, “Clear your mind of all doubts, of all unruliness. You must start thinking of yourself a married woman. You must not keep committing these foolish mistakes. He shan't put up with it for long. You are lucky he has not informed his mother about your ghastly demeanour.”

“What ghastly demeanour, Mother? I have not done anything wrong.”

Mother connects the back of her hand to my cheek without an inch of remorse, my whole head snapping to the side from the sickening impact. I stare at the ground, tears piercing my eyes, my cheeks stinging, my temper flaring. 

“When you come down for dinner, ensure that your manners have been set to rights. I will send Master Emmanuel and you for a walk. I expect you to apologise to Master Emmanuel for your behaviour and that you act like the perfect lady – flawless. Have I made myself clear?”

Clenching my jaw, I reply, “Yes, Mother.”

“And tomorrow, you must be ready to leave by seven am.”

“Why, Mother?”

“We are going to see some designers concerning your engagement dress.”

“My engagement dress?” I echo.