Two Five Nine

Side

Traveling all this time
All this while, believing the breath I take was a crime
I was wrong, convinced I was a stain. A curse.

I've never stolen from my mothers purse
I've not been the best son but I regret my wrongs
I've held myself in the grip of my mental prongs
Chastising myself, hating the image in the mirror

Life was an ever enduring fever
Disgusting and unworthy
When I made a mistake, I did not show myself mercy

But that was then, this is now.
The sweat has been dripping from my brow
Recently, my mind has been kinder
Allowing myself to let go of the need to find her

Leaving the hatred, the doubt, the mistrust, behind
A path I was already on, freedom from my mind
Or at least that part of it
Building a tool kit, to accomplish this. I have been.

Before you, there was people made of tin.
Each with its corrosive tips, cutting into me
  every time I grabbed one
Each leading me to where I have to be
  some brought misery, some brought fun

But you, you had brought love
You are a being of care, a treasure
Seemingly sent from above
Even in the end, there lived bliss and pleasure

That's just a theory of course, for I think of me
  when I write this. What the experience meant
     for me

For the day before we spoke our words behind
  a screen, I was in deep agony.  I had felt hopeless
    again. A common trope
      for me

You didn't know. You may never know. But You
  showed me there was more than I had seen. It was
     finally there in my hands. You showed me that
       it was possible
         for me

Perhaps that's why I think of you now.
When my sweat falls from my brow.
When the tears fill my eyes.
Your memory is there, a date void of lies

You may never return. I may never ask you to.
But my belief remains firm. You freed me,
  by leaving me.

I believe if you do. It's not because I asked.
It's because you... no, we wanted to.
Perhaps there is, after all, more to you.
I thought you were one I should to pay attention to.
And I have.

I am all but freed, mental prison of my own doing
Each before you has been a story.
I wonder if yours has another chapter.

Mine has just begun.
Trapped inside has forced me to climb my walls.
I hope to see you on the other 

12:59