Silence & Chaos | Kim Jungwoo

Chapter 19 - Accelerando

The adrenaline that woke Sunhee kept her awake through the morning hours. She was getting really good at distracting herself from Jungwoo during her time at Mark and Donghyuck's house, but now she couldn't stop herself. She spent half an hour just missing him, how he would tie his laces into little bows every morning, the way he was so perceptive about everything, and most of all how comfortable and happy she was around him.

It crossed her mind that she might have just felt that way because he was there for her when she was in distress, and suddenly the self-invalidation made her ribcage feel a little heavier than it did before as she stared blankly at the ceiling with bloodshot eyes. How did he feel about her? She wanted to believe that he did care about her more than just as a client, but Sunhee had this amazing ability to shoot down her high hopes.

Thinking about Jungwoo himself again, she began to wonder how he was doing back at HQ, and if he was taking care of himself. He must have been asleep in his bed right now. Ah, his wonderful bed made of clouds and happiness.

Unfortunately, Kim Jungwoo was not in his bed. He couldn't even think of sleep after his call with Donghyuck, so instead of wasting his time with attempting a pointless endeavor, he put his attention toward something more productive. He went through his morning routine as he usually did, as if it was a normal day. Only when he was walking out to his car, did he remember what time it actually was. The inky black sky hadn't yet given way to the break of a periwinkle dawn, and wouldn't do so for at least another hour.

The drive to HQ was awful. Jungwoo hated every second of it. Not even the radio would make his soundless frustration leave. It was a rare thing for him to be uncomfortable with silence. He knew exactly why he felt the way he did, but there was nothing he could do about it. He lost his comfortable-silence-privileges the moment he got too attached to them. His foot pressed on the gas pedal just a little more, hoping to get to work faster, and end the suffering he was enduring.

This frustration actually occurred every time he was alone in his car during the past few days. Jungwoo wasn't one to get really irritable, but he was definitely noticeably less smiley. Some of the new probies were very put off by it, only knowing Jungwoo to be the soft, sweet member that was always in a good mood. The older agents, however, had seen this behavior from him before. It was similar to how he used to be when he first joined NCT. Whenever he got really hung up on a case, he revisited this serious demeanor of his. 

He would have been the first agent on the floor that morning, but the members bringing in Jungkook already beat him to the punch. Stepping out of the elevator, his eyes first landed on Taeyong, who was looking over Jaehyun's shoulder as they discussed whatever was on Jaehyun's computer screen.

The director looked up at Jungwoo, and a knowing expression flashed across his face. "You're here early."

"I'd rather help get the case moving than waste my time sleeping." He walked up to the desk with pointed focus in his eyes that attested to his extreme motivation. He couldn't, however, change the fact that dark circles were in the first stages of blooming under his eyes. Indeed, he was not acting like himself. This was probably the worst Taeyong had seen Jungwoo's attitude in an incredibly long time.

"You know, you shouldn't skip out on sleep. It's how you gain the strength you need to do your job well." Taeyong's tone was gentle, and his big, soft eyes held concern for his young agent. This was the Taeyong that everyone had known him to be; the leader, and caretaker.

Jungwoo ran a hand through his hair and sighed, taking his walls down to plead with his superior. "I just need to do something. Anything but sleep. Give me whatever you have, I'll do it. I just..." He looked away. "I can't let myself do nothing."