Episode 10: The Balance

Chapter Twenty-Nine

They walked back to the Falcon in a comfortable silence, both content just to be in the other's company after so many months of being kept apart. Rey couldn't keep the grin off her face. 

As they drew nearer they could see the tall figure of Chewie standing just outside the ship. Chewie stood, seemingly frozen, watching them approach. Then he started to move towards Ben. Reaching them he shoved Ben hard in the chest, roaring in his face as Ben stumbled backwards. Ben didn't reply to Chewie's yells, letting him push him around and express his anger and sadness. Rey looked like she wanted to intervene but Ben shook his head. 

Let him, he said to her through the bond. 

Chewie finally stopped shoving Ben and the fight went out of him. His shoulders dropped and he pulled Ben into a hug and started crying. Ben found his grief hard to hear but knew he deserved it and more. He let Chewie hug him and kept silent. Eventually Chewie released him and turned, walking away across the barren surface. 

"Give him some time, he'll come round," Rey said, taking Ben's hand in hers. When Ben turned to look at her he had tears on his cheeks and looked emotionally drained from the encounter. He turned to look at the Falcon and sighed. 

"You couldn't have bought a different ship?" Ben asked her.

Rey shrugged. "I guess she's kind of mine now. Anyway it's not like I had loads to choose from."

"I had a nice ship, remember? Black, shiny, new, after you trashed the previous one. " Ben cocked his head and looked at her. Rey had the grace to look slightly embarrassed as they both thought of the bonfire she had created out of it. 

"How exactly would you, me, Chewie and BB-8 all fit in it?" Rey asked. 

"Fair point," he replied and grinned, turning back to ship in front of him. "I am constantly amazed that the Falcon still gets off the ground. Any bits drop off on the way here?" Ben was looking at several obvious rust patches. 

Rey scowled and punched him lightly on the arm. "Hey, that's my ship you're talking about. And yes, we may have had to have some small repairs in Coruscant," she admitted grudgingly.  

"See?! I was right," Ben said, smiling at her. 

"Ok, ok, she's not the newest or the most shiny but she has her charm." Rey smiled, looking up at the underside of the Falcon. "Anyway this is where I was standing when we had a Force connection on Ach-To. It has some good memories for me."

"I guess so, a bit more mixed for me . . . " Ben didn't finish the sentence and Rey let it hang, realising that much of his childhood must have been spent around the ship. "Come on," he said  "let's get it over with." Ben strode forward up the ramp, still holding Rey's hand and taking her with him. 

As they entered Rey could feel Ben tense up. They stood side by side, with Ben raking his eyes across the familiar layout, memories flooding back. Rey could sense his conflicted emotions, the earlier happy times clashing with later, more unhappy experiences.  "It's ok, I'm here," she told him. "Whatever happens now, we're in this together." 

Ben nodded silently and leaned his head gently on the top of Rey's. There was no hurry so they stood for a while, Ben gradually trying to pull himself together. Eventually he dropped Rey's hand and started to walk towards the cockpit. Rey let him go ahead a little, discretely following. Ben reached the pilot's chair and his face crumpled. She could see what he saw through the bond, Han sitting in the chair explaining to a very small Ben how to fly the ship. The Han in Ben's memory was younger than when Rey had known him but he didn't change much. Rey stood behind Ben and wrapped her arms around his chest, trying to comfort him as best she could. She felt his pain ease a little with her touch and rested her cheek on his back. 

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A sound behind them alerted them to Chewie's return. BB-8 was trailing behind him. 

"BB-8! This is Ben," Rey told the little droid. 

BB-8 looked at Ben and rotated back to Rey, letting out a string of beeps in return. 

"Ages, what do you mean?" she asked it. 

BB-8 replied. 

"Three days? Really? It didn't seem anything like that long." She glanced at Ben who gave her a quizzical look. 

I'll explain later  she said to Ben through the bond. 

She turned to Chewie. "Are you ok?" she asked him, placing a hand on his forearm. 

Chewie nodded. "RRaaghh?" he asked. 

"Yes I guess we're going." Rey jumped into her usual pilot's seat and started flipping switches. The ramp shut and she fired up the engines, preparing to take off. 

Chewie and Ben both moved towards the co-pilot's chair and there was an awkward moment where they met behind it. 

"GGrrraggghhh" Chewie said, gesturing and letting Ben sit down. He moved towards the door of the cockpit and turned to deliver a final comment. 

Rey blushed scarlet on hearing his growl. "Of course we'll have our clothes on! What are you expecting?!" she retorted. 

She turned to Ben, who was laughing. He held his hands up, "Don't look at me!"

Rey turned back to look at Chewie, but he had gone to his quarters. She finished entering the launch sequence and the Falcon lifted off the surface. 

"I don't think he meant to upset you," Ben said. "Between Lando and Han I would imagine there were quite a few . . . erm, visitors?" He wasn't quite sure how to put it but knowing the two men he had a fair idea that they would have bought women back to the ship on multiple occasions. 

"I'm not upset! Just a bit embarrassed I guess . . . " Rey kept her eyes fixed on the sky in front of the cockpit, not wanting to catch Ben's expression. 

Ben decided that anything he said might be the wrong thing so kept quiet. He had a fleeting sense of what Kylo might have done. He definitely would have teased her mercilessly, enjoying making her blush. 

Ben's silence made Rey feel awkward, like she had offended him. She didn't want to reach into the bond, fearing what she might find in his thoughts. "I'm not saying I'm against it . . . not that I want to . . . well I do . .  but you don't have to . ." She screwed her eyes shut. "Ok, I'm just going to stop talking." 

Well that couldn't have got any worse, she thought. She had obviously forgotten that Ben could clearly hear her thoughts and he tried his best not to laugh. She was such an amazing woman but this was the one area of life where she was less self-assured. The inherited scoundrel in him loved seeing her flustered by him. 

Ben reached over and took her hand, smiling. "It's fine, you don't have to explain yourself." He could feel her uncertainty through the bond and sought to reassure her. "Just for future reference I want to. If you do that is of course." 

Rey's look of concern lifted. "You do?"

Ben looked at her, half frowning, half smiling. "Are you kidding? Of course I want to be with you." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it, then looked into her eyes. "I have never wanted anything more in my life. Can't you tell I'm in love with you?"