a/n: make sure you've read The Hanging Tree before reading this book or it won't make sense. i hope you like this book because i feel like it's going to be real shitty
alexis's POV
"stop." i order, pulling away and shaking myself out of my thoughts. "i'm sorry. i thought-" he starts but i cut him off. "i want to go home." i tell him, looking down at my lap and clearing my throat. "okay." he nods after a few seconds of hesitation. he starts the car and i stop him once again. "i want to drive." i say, seeing him open his mouth to say something but shut it before he can. he nods and we switch spots.
i can't believe i did that.
i love billie, not finneas.
i should tell her.
maybe i shouldn't.
she'd just get even more upset.
and billie and i are over.
i should let her go.
after i drop finneas off i drive back to my house and walk up to my room without saying a single hello to anyone. once i get to my room i take off my shoes and turn on some music. i lay on my back and stare up at the ceiling for what seems like hours as sad music plays throughout my room. "enough of this sad shit." i mumble to myself, grabbing my phone and changing the playlist and pushing shuffle. of course it turns on bellyache, then watch, then COPYCAT until i finally get fed up and change to another playlist. "oh hell yeah" i smile as 2 by h.e.r. plays. "it's true, it's really never been that deep. wasn't thinking bout you, cause you didn't give a fuck about me" i sing along and get off of the floor, dancing along to the song. "when you were busy playing me, i was playing you two" i scream sing at the top of my lungs, dancing around my entire room at this point.
once i'm out of breath i flop back onto my bed and just listen to the music. i hear my phone start to ring and pick it up. "what's up" i answer. "hey. it's mila. i just wanted to tell you that um.... i'm sorry." she says in a small voice. "for what?" i ask, trying to remember why we stopped hanging out. "i overreacted about the whole billie thing. you two weren't even dating at the time and i was just jealous that you were spending more time with her. i'm really sorry." she explains. "it's alright m. billie and i are done." i sigh. "really? what happened?" she asks. "it's a long story." i tell her. "well, looks like i'm coming over with some snacks and we're going to have a long talk" she announces. "mila-" i start but she cuts me off. "i won't try anything. i promise. if you want, brooks can come too." she assures me. "whatever you want." i respond in relief.
i'm not looking for a rebound, that's one of the reasons i stopped finneas.
rebounds are disgusting.
i can't imagine breaking up with someone and just using someone else to fill a void that my ex left when you're still hung up on them.
that's a horrible thing to do to someone.
not to mention that billie would be livid if she found out i moved on so fast.
after a few minutes i hear someone knock on the door. several seconds later, i tell mila she can come in. she walks in with bags in her hands and shuts the door behind her. "soooo, how's alexis?" she asks with a weird smile. "bro shut up, you sound like my fuckin grandma" i laugh and kick her stomach gently to playfully push her away. "but really, how are you?" she asks, sitting on the corner of my bed. "the fuck are you doing? get up here" i laugh and grab her arm, pulling her up to me. "answer the question" she orders. "if i'm being honest, i'm not doing great" i answer. "alright, go ahead and rant. i'm here to listen." she assures me, sitting cross legged beside me and giving me her full attention.
after telling mila everything she sighs, obviously trying to think of something to say. "i'm sorry alexis. i wish i knew what to say to help but-" she starts but i cut her off. "you're not here to give me pity. you're here to cheer me up. that's the reason i let you come over" i laugh a little, wiping a tear that escaped my eye. "yes! you're right! so, i have snacks and you have netflix and hulu. what're we bout to watch?" she asks. "i don't know. i'm good with anything" i shrug. "i know what you're thinking. whenever you say i can choose, we either watch the office or black mirror. i'm feeling black mirror right now. and it seems like you're in the kind of mood where you want to watch something and not really talk." she explains, trying to look me in the eye so she can tell what mood i'm in. "y-you're absolutely right" i laugh. "i'm a genius" she shrugs and turns on the fourth season.
"so her mom just put this fucking device in her head so she couldn't see some shit? that's dumb as fuck" i laugh as we watch the second episode of the second season. "you're saying this like you haven't seen it before" she giggles. "well i'm sorry i don't remember!" i yell jokingly. "but what if she was like... masterbating and her mom saw it through the device thing?" i ask. "oh my god i didn't even think about that!" she exclaims and covers her mouth. "the mom is dumb as fuck, obviously her daughter is boutta be on some fuck shit" i assure her, absentmindedly putting my arm around her. she smiles and snuggles into my side and we continue watching the show.
