billie's POV
i lean in and see alexis leaning in as well.
well shit, looks like she wants it too.
we meet in the middle and press our lips together. i place my hand on her jawline and start to pull her closer but she breaks the kiss off.
what?
"i'm sorry billie. i can't." she sighs and looks down at her lap. "i thought.... i understand." i stop myself and bite my lip to shut myself up. "i did. i wanted to kiss you. but i'm dating mila." she reminds me. "i know." i nod, looking anywhere but at her. "i just.... i miss you. a lot." i tell her. "i miss you too. why do you think i kissed you in the first place?" she laughs a little. "will you just answer this one question for me?" i ask hopefully. "depends on what the question is" she shrugs slightly and plays with the loose rubber band on her wrist like she does when she's nervous or conflicted. "do you love her?" i ask, praying to myself that she doesn't and i still have a change. "not as much as i loved you." she answers in a whisper so quiet i can barely hear her.
loved.
past tense.
"what do you mean by that? does she not make you happy? does she not treat you good?" i bombard her with questions, knowing she won't give me a good answer. "if i remember correctly, you said just one question" she laughs a little and rolls onto her other side, facing away from me. "alexis answer me. does she not treat you the way you should be treated?" i repeat. when i get no response, i can only think to ask again. "lex. please." i beg quietly, putting my hand on her shoulder. "you know what billie? no. she doesn't treat me as good as you did. no. she doesn't make me as happy as you made me. has she made me cry? yes, several times. have you made me cry? for hours and hours on end because you know who actually believed me when i told them i was raped?! mila! mila did! you didn't! i can't believe i almost apologized to you like i was in the wrong when we both know damn well it was you." she snaps at me, gets up from her spot on the bed and leaves.
she's right.
i need to figure out a way to fix things.
