𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐎𝐧 ~ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐧

"it was a mistake, wasn't it?"

mars
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alexander 23

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that." Chase quickly pulled away from the girl only moments after their lips had met. Although it seemed as if he had regretted his previous action, it was far from it. He longed for her touch and having it back had him over the moon, but he knew if wasn't that easy. It never was.

Cheryl scoffed, already annoyed at the boy that stood in front of her only inches away. She was confused to say the least. Only hours prior he was drunk and stumbling into her house telling her he loved her, but was now pulling away from a kiss they both wanted.

"It was a mistake." Chase whispered to her, his voice breaking.

They both knew it was the furthest thing from a mistake.

"Of course you think it was." She said as she shoved him away from her, jumping down from the counter. Her feet met the cold tiled floors and she looked to the front door. "Get out, Chase." As much as she didn't want him to leave, she didn't see any other option. He kissed her and only seconds after pulling away he seemed to have regretted it already.

It was a mistake, she told herself.

The truth was, both the teens didn't even need to convince themselves otherwise. They knew it wasn't, but they both tugged on the strings of each others hearts wanting to believe it as so. Because it was easier.

"What?" Chase managed to let out, his voice no higher than it was the last time he had spoken. He looked at her in disbelief, shocked at the words that had fallen from her lips. He didn't want to leave, he wanted to feel his skin against hers yet again.

But it was a mistake, wasn't it?

He tried to convince himself it was. That as much as he wanted it, as much as he longed for her once again, he couldn't have her. He shouldn't. He didn't deserve her. He believed he didn't. As much as he wanted to be with her, he thought he was the lesser between him and anyone else that wanted her. But they both knew, somewhere in their hearts, that was the furthest thing from the truth.

"Cheryl-" Chase tried to reason with her. He wanted to apologize for the action. It seemed all he had been doing lately was apologizing for his actions. Even if, in this case, there wasn't much to apologize for. He kissed her and as much as he wanted to tell himself he shouldn't have, he enjoyed it. He loved her, as did she.

"For the love of god Chase, get out!" She yelled. She couldn't handle the way he tugged at the strings of her heart. She was angry, yet upset at the same time. She didn't know what to feel. The kiss had sent a spark of electricity to the two. She needed him, but was still too stubborn to admit it to anyone other than herself.

"I love you." Chase said to Cheryl, giving her one last glance before exiting the familiar house.

And so she broke. Her small frame collapsed onto the kitchen floor as she let the tears fall from her eyes. She couldn't comprehend what had just happened.

He loved her, yet he couldn't be with her. Yet. As much as the two needed the other they needed themselves most of all.

After all this time, neither of the two could quite figure out how to be without the other. Although they had only known eachother for a bit over a year, it felt like an eternity.

"It was a mistake." The girl whispered to herself, repeating what Chase had said.

But was it?

The boy had only gotten a few feet away from the home of his ex girlfriend before looking back to the house he was in front of. He wanted to run back inside and tell her how much of a hell his life had turned into since he broke up with her. That he needed her in order to remain stable.

He wanted to tell her that he couldn't even look at himself the same after hurting the girl he loved with his entire heart. He wanted to run into her arms and hold her, at least one last time.

He loved her and she loved him. The answer on what to do would obvious to anyone else, but unfortunately it wasn't that simple.

It took every ounce of self control he had left in him to prevent himself from running inside. He wanted to tell her the truth.
Unfortunately for him, he didn't know how to do so without so much as ruining the image of her father. The one parent she had left alive.

How was he supposed to tell the girl he loved that he had to break her heart in order for his own safety? That her dad was the mastermind behind this whole scheme that he wanted nothing to do with. That the father of the girl he loves had him break her heart. Only because he felt that he was holding her back from her true potential-whatever the hell that meant. That Cheryl Sturbelle's father, who seemed to had loved Chase, secretly despised the boy. Almost as much as his own flesh and blood.

"I can't believe I let him ruin everything." Chase whispered to himself in disbelief as he walked down the empty sidewalk, his hands rubbing over his face.

Of course he wanted to tell her, but he was scared. No, not of the girls father. He just didn't want her anymore broken than she already was. If worse came to worse, he didn't want her to lose both her parents.

"Fuck it." Chase said, turning on his heel and practically running back towards the house. Some may call it selfish, but the boy had pure intentions.

a/n;
i wrote this at 5am & i just wanted to say im sorry for the slower updates and shorter chapters

honestly tho plz lmk if ur liking the story bc idek if i am anymore :/

this story is j filled w drama, how do u feel abt it? opinions would b helpful to say the least

word count: 1058
-not edited-