POV: You and Nick Rhodes have been dating for 23 months and 16 days. you decide it's time to finally show him your favourite place in the whole wide world. for the element of surprise, you decide to blindfold him.
"I don't know about this luv, are you sure I am not allowed to look."
You nod, which is useless because he can't see that, but you don't realise it because at the moment your shared braincell is occupied by John Taylor. you grab his hand and walk through the busy streets filled with people and stores.
"Are we going to a shop?" nick says, stumbling behind you as he tries to keep up.
"Just trust me, nick". the closer you come to your final destination, the more hesitant your boyfriend starts to become.
then, when you finally arrive, you take a deep breath. "promise me you'll keep your eyes closed until i allow you to open them".
he nods. you slowly take of the blindfold and he keeps his eyes closed as promised. is this really a good idea? you sigh and stare at his face. the blue light that's coming from the big illuminated sign of the store perfectly falls on his face. it highlights all his good features. the sight of it makes you excited.
"y/n, i really don't have a good feeling about thi-" you shush him and put your finger on his lip.
"i told you to trust me, nick." he let out a soft 'okay' and you stare at his face for a few more seconds.
"before you can look, i need you to know this place means incredibly much to me. my mother birthed me here, in the sandals section."
"the woht now-" you shushed him again.
"not now. everything i own comes from this place. i owe it my entire life." you can see nick raising his eyebrows, but can't determine wether it's confusion or curiosity. maybe both.
"okay, you can open your eyes now."
slowly but surely, he opens his eyes. you can the see store's sign reflect in his eyes as he looks up. unfortunately, his eyes don't seem to contain a pleased look. in fact, it looks like he's about to throw up.
"you brought me to PRIMARK?! YOU LOVE THIS PLACE??!!"
you could feel your eyes well up with tears. "i- i thought you'd like it. this place means so much to me-"
"LIKE IT?! you broke skank! can't believe i've dated you for 23 months and 16 days only to find out you're a poor swine."
all of a sudden nick takes out his gucci handbag. "know what's inside this luv? a dozen bricks. goodbye," he says whilst he takes one good swing and smacks you in the head with it. the force is too hard and before you know it you are knocked out on the pavement right in front of primark.
after a while you can slowly feel yourself coming back to your senses. the first thing you notice is the pounding headache you have and that the buzzing sounds of the filled streets is very very faint now. you just hear two prominent voices.
"are you sure we should do this? is it not going to result in bad karma?" you don't recognise the voice. you want to open your eyes to see who it is but you can't, because you're still in too much pain.
"no, i've done this countless times before. no one will notice. besides, we have to feed him once in a while." another voice you don't recognise. and who is 'him'? you can slowly feel what's happening. one person has grabbed you by the arms and the other person has grabbed you by your legs. you're being lifted. carefully you open your eyes. the suns light is very bright and makes your head hurt even more, but you ignore it. you look up and see a man with dark hair, brown eyes and a blue primark employee shirt on. roger taylor from duran duran? quickly you lift your head to see who's holding you by the legs. blond hair, blue eyes and also a primark employee shirt on. simon le bon???
you want to say something, but before you get the chance they throw you on the ground. you look around you.
"w- where am i? what happened? where's nick?"
simon looks at you and sighs. "look sweet cheeks honey boo sugar pie. i don't know who nick is-"
"yes you do you're in the same band."
"shut up. like i was saying i don't know anything but you were laying outside passed out in front of our store, so we were asked to remove you. you're at the back of the store now."
you look around you again, only to notice you're surrounded by bins. you turn your head to roger.
"please, whatever you do, don't leave me here. god knows what's hiding in those bloody bins."
simon let out a laugh. "we know exactly what lives here. that's why we're leaving you behind. also, who the hell says bloody nowadays," he sneered. you give roger a begging look, but he just shrugged and gives you an apologetic look. then both men turn around and walk away. your breathing starts to to become rapid and you can feel the fear build up in your body. you're too weak to lift yourself up and leave. you're basically trapped. all you can do is hope for the best.
all of a sudden you can hear sounds coming from the bins.
"oh god no, please," you whisper to yourself. there's some movement going on, and out of fear you close your eyes. "it's not real, nick will be here to get you." the sound of something moving comes closer and closer. the combination of fright and terror is so big that you pass out, again, before you can realise what's approaching you.
you wake up, only to find a weird physical feeling. what is that? it's almost like something's... nibbling on your feet! your eyes shoot open and you look at your feet, only to find a rat, which looks very much like a small sized human being, with a funky blond haircut gnawing at your toes. it notices you have woken up and stops only to look up at you.
"yer alright there bruv? me names andy taylor, saw your lying around and thought well tha's a proper snack, innit? my apologies, i should've asked your consent first. 'spose you could say i'm hungry like the RAT." he let out a shrilling laugh.
you let out a scream. THE andy taylor from duran duran? what the hell has happened to the band? all of a sudden the rat launches itself onto your face.
before you can even react, he goes: "alright then, time for the main course."
you pass out AGAIN and never wake up. the end.
YOU ARE READING
Duran Duran Oneshots That Are Mainly Crack Ones
HumorDoes what it says on the tin. I am so so sorry
