Duran Duran Oneshots That Are Mainly Crack Ones

Green Door (more than inspired by Ashes to Ashes)

"Getting caught rifling through a government vault might prove a little tricky to explain, even for a man as suave and silver tongued as my very good self." John snapped at me, hastily scrambling about in the drawers.

He was facing the other way, but I still shot him a disdainful look. It didn't matter if he couldn't see me.

Nearby, I stood guard at the vault door, hand gripped nervously on one of the door handles, watching for signs of danger in the hallway through a small crack. My heart was racing, threatening to jump right out of my chest and skitter away. Why had I come again? I drummed my fingers nervously but quietly, aching to rid myself of a portion of nervous energy. And some of that was owed to the man I was in here with, too...

Focus on the job at hand, I told myself.

At that moment, John paused his hurried search through the drawers upon drawers of carefully organised paper, and pulled out the file. Our file. The one we'd risked our lives for so far, and the one that held all the evidence for this investigation. John nodded - the all clear to get the hell out of here. We could finally leave, and we'd done it completely unscathed-

Then I heard voices.

Guards.

They were laughing and chatting outside, in the corridor, where we so sorely needed to be. There was no other escape, not that I knew of, anyway. And they'd obviously notice the door to their oh so important vault being wide open. How could they miss it?

I only had one choice.

With a loud slam, I frantically plunged the vault into complete and utter darkness, putting a wall between us and the guards. I waited for a couple of seconds, just to be sure they hadn't heard and weren't heading our way.

No movements. Thank god.

We were safe. For now.

But I still had John to contend with.

"Oi!" he screeched, going absolutely mental. The metal drawer crashed shut and I heard him fumbling about madly in the shadows. He was NOT happy.

"How stupid do you expect me to be! They'd have found us!" I shot back.

I heard the click of a lighter, and John was immediately illuminated by the tiny flame. I was glad to see his face, but not the burning glare that was plastered all over it. Oh no.

"Oh, well, thank goodness you found us this ideal little hiding place eh, Julian? All we need to do now is wait for Timmy the bloody dog to raise the ALARM!"

Maybe I had done the wrong thing? Could we have made it?

Instantly, I pushed that thought down. I couldn't have done anything else, or we'd have been back against the wall, with guns to our heads right now! Plus, I wasn't going to let him tell me what to do, no matter how attractive he was, considering this whole operation was my idea in the first place. I was right. He was wrong.

Besides, the guards were probably gone by now. We could sneak out behind them.

"It'll be absolutely fine. It must be one of these two." I scolded back, guestering towards the door handles.

John eyed me with exasperation. Staring triumphantly at him, I reached for the larger handle and yanked down, still keeping that eye contact. But to my absolute horror, instead of opening - like it should - the door emitted a series of clicks and whirrs, then froze shut. My stomach dropped. I tried it again, but it was stuck fast. No. No, it couldn't be locked. We couldn't be trapped here.