I Lost A Bet

Hectate and Hangovers

"Ugghhhhhhh," Hades groaned as he threw his hand over his eyes. He was pretty sure he had the worst headache known to god kind. The terrible new country song written by Ass-pollo himself blaring through the room did not help in the least.

Sheesh, Hades thought to himself, how the hell did he become the god of music? If I hear him moan about the golden hills of Olympus one more time, I might break the radio. He threw his hand to the side to find his damn alarm clock and stop this unique brand of torture, but all he felt was air. What the hell? He opened his eyes experimentally, hissing as the fluorescent lighting of his living room blinded him. Damnit, how much did I drink last night? I was supposed to be cutting back, he scolded himself. The last thing he remembered was being at the club and ordering another round for his brothers. How did he end up on his couch with this god awful music pounding into his skull?

As if he had heard Hades' thoughts, Poseidon bounded into the room wearing a pink apron and looking way too cheerful for a Saturday morning hangover. "Good morning, Aidon!" he practically shouted, making Hades' wince and throwing his hands over his ears.

"Keep it down, will ya," Hades hissed, "and turn off that banshee screeching before I go deaf." His whole body ached, and his head pounded as he grit his teeth, trying to ease the pain.

"Aw, does poor wittle Hades have a hangover," Zeus taunted from his perch on a nearby stool, fresh coffee in hand.

"Don't act like you weren't hunched over the toilet puking your guts out an hour ago," Poseidon laughed, causing Zeus to glare at him over the counter. Hades, too busy fighting a migraine, just groaned at them to shut up and get him coffee. He shuffled over to the nearest barstool and sat with his head in his arms, trying to block out the light and his brother's conversation. A clunk in front of him told him his coffee had arrived, and he took a greedy sip that he regretted instantly as nausea swirled in his stomach. Poseidon just chuckled at his brothers moaning and slid a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him with two pain killers.

"Thanks," Hades muttered as he took another swig and popped the pills. His head cleared immediately, and he sighed in relief; these pills were one of the only things Apollo was good for.

"Well, now that you've joined us in the land of the living, Poseidon has something to tell you," Zeus told him with a poorly concealed laugh. Poseidon whipped around from the griddle, spatula in hand,

"What?!" he said with a glare directed at Zeus, "I thought you said we'd do it together."

"Do what? Poseidon, what is he talking about?" Hades butted in visibly confused and more than a little anxious. What the fuck happened last night, he thought to himself, I don't remember anything past the seventh drink. Oh my gods, please don't say I did anything embarrassing; Hecate will kill me if the stocks drop because of another tabloid headline. Zeus and Poseidon shared a glance.

"So you don't remember last night at all?" Zeus asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, I have no idea how I go here," Hades muttered uncomfortably, blushing.

"You weren't the only one who was wasted," Poseidon said, "Zeus and I could barely stand straight; we called for a ride on Chariot, and somehow dragged you in here and crashed." Hades reached for his phone to check the time, but his hand came up empty.

"Where's my phone?" he asked, panicked. Dear Hermes, Hecate was going to kill him if he lost it.

"Well, that's the thing..." Poseidon replied nervously, scratching the back of his head, "You may have made a few.... outgoing calls." Hades's stomach dropped to his feet. No matter which way this went, it was going to end poorly. "Please don't tell me I called Minthe," he practically begged, "Holy Dionysus, why do I keep going out with you two?"

"Hey, it's not our fault you can't hold your liquor," Zeus responded indignantly, "and no, you didn't call Minthe." Hades let out a deep sigh of relief. "ButyoumayhavecalledthegoddessofSpring?" Zeus finished in a rush.

"What?!" Hades roared, leaping to his feet and patting his pockets furiously in search of the offending device, "What did I say?! Please tell me, you know."

"Woah Woah Woah bro, chill out," Poseidon responded, putting his hands on Hades' shoulders and guiding him back to his seat, "You didn't say anything. You just rang her and then threw your phone across the room when she answered." Hades slowly sunk into his chair defeated, could he blame it on a butt dial? Oh gods, he broke one of the rules! At least he didn't say anything humiliating. Why had he called her in the first place? I mean sure she was practically always on his mind, but he usually had better impulse control, even when drunk. He voiced his question, and the brothers shuffled awkwardly. Hades' eyes narrowed,

"... what did you guys do?" he asked, unsure if he even wanted an answer.

"... well... wemayhavemadeabetthatyoucould n'tcallPersephoneandadmityourfeelings," Poseidon word vomited, leaving Hades' head reeling.

"You did what?!" He yelled.

"Hey, don't get mad at us, you guys totally want to get in each other's pants plus you didn't even say anything," Zeus responded defensively, "We were just trying to help a brother out."

"Wait... you said it was a bet," Hades said, moving past the sorry excuse for the moment, and furrowing his brow, "What did I lose?"

"Well, we're not exactly sure..." Poseidon answered with a grimace.

"How the hell do you not know; you literally made the bet!" Hades shouted frazzled.

"Our bet was that Hecate could choose what you had to do, and she's being stingy with the details," Zeus pouted. Dear lord, Hecate was definitely going to kill him; he just prayed she was merciful with his punishment (who was he kidding; she was going to enjoy torturing him).

"Can I borrow your phone?" he asked Poseidon defeatedly. If he was going to be humiliating himself, he might as well get it over with. Poseidon handed his Pomegranate X over the counter.

"Before you call," Poseidon said with a grimace, "you should know you swore on the River Styx to do whatever she told you."

"Of course I did," Hades replied, putting his head down on the table. He didn't even have the energy to berate himself. He just sighed deeply, squeezed his eyes shut, and clicked the call button.

"Hecate speaking," purred a voice from the speaker after a couple of rings. Oh gods no, she sounds smug, Hades panicked to himself.

"Alright, out with it, what are you forcing me to do," he sighed, shoulders slumping.

"What no good morning? Someone sounds grumpy, maybe they should have thought first before getting wasted with their idiot brothers and calling me at 3AM," she crooned, reveling in the groan that came from the other line.

"You're not going to make this easy for me, will you," he replied.

"Not a chance," she said, grinning from ear to ear, "Now I know you think television is a waste of time, but have you ever heard of The Masked Singer?"