On top of the world

Not Over You

I was determined to get over Yuzuru Hanyu.

I knew from personal experience that the most reliable method for getting over someone is distance and time away from them. I knew this would be difficult, as Yuzuru and I both train in the same rink with the same coach. But I have my ways.

For once, the difficulties of AP Bio would work out in my favor. Exams from all classes were suffocating me, and I had to prepare to compete in the New England regional qualifying championships with hopes that I could advance to Eastern sectionals and then to Nationals once more. Yuzuru was also busy, as he had his Grand Prix assignments approaching quickly. 

We both continued to carpool to and from the rink, but we barely spoke to each other. Tonight, we were both practicing visualization of our programs in preparation for our upcoming competitions, so the silence wasn't awkward.

But it was deafening.

It was difficult to focus on my own visualization while Yuzuru had his mind intentionally open. But I wasn't seeing the programs he was recreating in his head. I was feeling the emotions he was expressing on his heart as he visualized. Elation. Pride. Exhaustion. Fear?!

Suddenly, Yuzuru's hand slapped down onto mine. Both of our eyes flashed open and we turned to each other, our faces deepening in color. "Sorry!" we both yelped.

"No! Just me," Yuzuru insisted, gazing earnestly at me. I knew what he meant. He thought was only his fault. 

"No, no. I'm afraid I may have interrupted your visualization." I looked down, ashamed.

"How?" Yuzuru seemed genuinely curious.

I took out my translator app. I know I'm trying to limit conversation with him now, but it's time that I tell him. We're friends after all.

Yuzuru's POV!!!

"So...you feel other people's feelings. That is an empath?" I asked the girl.

Lyubov nodded. "Yeah, it's more than just feeling empathy for someone. You actually feel the emotions along with them. I also read somewhere that sometimes, empaths can even make others feel what they're feeling. That's why I thought I interrupted your visualization."

"I knew there was something unique about you," I said with a knowing smile. 

"There are negatives to the ability though. For example, being an empath is detrimental if someone is in pain, whether it be physical or emotional. The effect is like phantom pain. It hurts to an even greater degree if I inflicted the pain myself."

"I see." I thought back to my visualization. "But it wasn't you who interrupted my visualization, if that's what you were thinking. I had a strange flashback to the Tohoku earthquake, just for a split second."

Lyubov looked alarmed. She definitely still thinks it's her fault. I put my hand over hers in an attempt to comfort her, but she drew her hand away. "We--we should probably not visualize in the same room--I mean car--anymore," she said quickly, letting out a joyless chuckle.

Something has happened to the girl beside me. She seems more...cynical.

I wanted to know what was going on inside her head, but it didn't seem like she was in the mood to talk anymore. I chose to not press further.

"I guess you're right," I replied. Lyubov opened her Bible app and I proceeded to twiddle my thumbs and look out the window. The silence between us wasn't booming with emotion anymore. It was dead.

*************

(back to Lyubov's POV)

The strange thing was that Yuzuru couldn't explain why he had that sudden flashback to the earthquake. But I had a feeling that I could explain it.